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Regarding my last Journal
5 years ago
General
To everyone who read my last Journal, thank you for all the Love, Support and words of Comfort, I Love and Appricate all you guys and gals more then I can ever easily expresse n_n <3 . And I'm sorry if I scared you.
I think I've figured out the problem though. I'm suffering from Burnout. I've taken on too much, and am trying to do too meany things in very short windows of time. This month in particuler has been very bad. Allow me to brake it down.
It pretty much all started when this stupid Outbrake occured. Where I work, we've had about 13 people quit because they were worried about getting this Virus, so virtually over night, mine and the remaining staffs workload virtually quintuppled over night. So now instead of working shorter shifts with more days off, I'm working longer shifts with fewer days off. I typically work 1 in the after noon to 9 at night, so I have about 4 hours in the moring when I wake up and four hours in the evening when I get home of free time. That may seem like a lot, but when your tired and sore from working an eight hour shift and getting yelled at by coustomers, it's not.
My job is also wortless crap. I work as a cashier in a local Supermarket, Labeled as a Part Time worker so they don't have to give me, or the rest of the staff any health benafits. We did get Hazard Pay for working during tnis Outbrake though, a whopping whole $2 an hour, and that ends on April 20th. And only NOW, are they makeing it a requirment that we all have to wear facemask at work, two and a half months after the fact. Keep in mind, I've been work all that time with no mask or any kind of protective equipment, and I'm not sick yet. Meanwhile, we're still required to be nice and friendly to upitty coutomers who think it's ok to yell at us because we're out of stock on stuff or they don't like our store's polices. I guess because we're not human to them. We're Machines with no Emotions. And for this, I'm paid a little over $300 each week. Which will then probablly drop back down to about $250 each week once we lose our bonuse. To top it all off, I found out this week that you can't quit and collect unemployment, they have to fire you. Nothing like being enslaved to a job to boost your Morale n_n .
Not much of a stress inducer ya? I ain't done yet. I live at home with my 74 year old Father, who is as healthy as a horse and has a mind shraper then a razor. However, this Virus targets the sick and the elderly. The Irony here is, he initially wanted me to keep working while the rest of my family wanted me to quit, which I would have happily done, had I a choice in tbe matter. But then I got to thinking about it. If I catch this Virus, bring it home to him and he dies? My family will never forgive me.
We're about halfway on the old Stress-O-Metter, but we ain't done yet. Now that my Free time has all but disentigrated, the massive backlog of personal, comission and freebie art I have to do hasn't been worked on in a couple of months, and I know some of you have been waiting a long time for your piece, and some of you keep asking me where it is, even though I'ved asked you not to. I don't blame you for being Antsy, if it was a paid comission and it'd taken this long, I'd probablly be asking too. But considering right now I only have two paid comissions and thoses are the ones I really should be working on, I'm asking you guys to pleases stop asking -_- . I havn't forgotten about you, I promise, and right now I'm working on putting together a list of all the drawings that I owe to who to make sure I'm not missing anything. If you feel like I've forgotten you, please, please send me a PM with what it was you wanted and a Ref/Detailed description of your Charcter. I'll add you to the list and I will get to all your Request as soon as I can. To thoses of you who have been waiting patiently this whole time, I thank you and offer my deepest applogies for not being finished. With that, I will not be takeing on anymore pieces until my current Backlog is clear. I'll also post up the list in another Journal so you can review it and see if I'm missing you. If you would not like to be mentioned on this list, please PM so I know to omit your name.
And finally, we come to the straw that broke the Wolf's mind. This Month is NaNoWriMo. For thoses of you not in the know, that stands for National Write a Novle Month. A yearly event where writers from all over the world gather Online to literly write a Novel of 50,000 words. Unfortenatly, this event just had to take place in April, and I try to participate every year. Since the begining of this month though, I have only managed to write a little over 3,000 words. Yet another constant, mocking reminder of what a failure I am. As if getting up each morning and haveing to look at my face in the Mirrior wern't enough. The Month is nearly gone, and so I must make a choice. Do I continue on with my project or do I abandone it? Abadoneing it means failure, continueing on and not reaching my goal means failure. Even if I finsh it, what dose it matter? It is likely no one outside my small group of frineds will ever read, nor do I think anyone outside of them would care about it....But, I am a Fool. And if there is one things Fools don't do, it's quit.
To that end, I have some what of a plan, though I fear no one is going to like it. For the next week or two, starting Monday, I will not be Online. This means I won't be able to talk to any of you for awhile, but I feel it's something I must do. This will free up my Morning/Evening free time, which I will use one to work on my story and the other to work on my art, perhaps alternating what I do when. I hope you can all understand and forgive me, but I really hope by doing this I can get something done. If you want to send me luck or prayers, please do so. Lord knows I need all the help I can get.
I think I've figured out the problem though. I'm suffering from Burnout. I've taken on too much, and am trying to do too meany things in very short windows of time. This month in particuler has been very bad. Allow me to brake it down.
It pretty much all started when this stupid Outbrake occured. Where I work, we've had about 13 people quit because they were worried about getting this Virus, so virtually over night, mine and the remaining staffs workload virtually quintuppled over night. So now instead of working shorter shifts with more days off, I'm working longer shifts with fewer days off. I typically work 1 in the after noon to 9 at night, so I have about 4 hours in the moring when I wake up and four hours in the evening when I get home of free time. That may seem like a lot, but when your tired and sore from working an eight hour shift and getting yelled at by coustomers, it's not.
My job is also wortless crap. I work as a cashier in a local Supermarket, Labeled as a Part Time worker so they don't have to give me, or the rest of the staff any health benafits. We did get Hazard Pay for working during tnis Outbrake though, a whopping whole $2 an hour, and that ends on April 20th. And only NOW, are they makeing it a requirment that we all have to wear facemask at work, two and a half months after the fact. Keep in mind, I've been work all that time with no mask or any kind of protective equipment, and I'm not sick yet. Meanwhile, we're still required to be nice and friendly to upitty coutomers who think it's ok to yell at us because we're out of stock on stuff or they don't like our store's polices. I guess because we're not human to them. We're Machines with no Emotions. And for this, I'm paid a little over $300 each week. Which will then probablly drop back down to about $250 each week once we lose our bonuse. To top it all off, I found out this week that you can't quit and collect unemployment, they have to fire you. Nothing like being enslaved to a job to boost your Morale n_n .
Not much of a stress inducer ya? I ain't done yet. I live at home with my 74 year old Father, who is as healthy as a horse and has a mind shraper then a razor. However, this Virus targets the sick and the elderly. The Irony here is, he initially wanted me to keep working while the rest of my family wanted me to quit, which I would have happily done, had I a choice in tbe matter. But then I got to thinking about it. If I catch this Virus, bring it home to him and he dies? My family will never forgive me.
We're about halfway on the old Stress-O-Metter, but we ain't done yet. Now that my Free time has all but disentigrated, the massive backlog of personal, comission and freebie art I have to do hasn't been worked on in a couple of months, and I know some of you have been waiting a long time for your piece, and some of you keep asking me where it is, even though I'ved asked you not to. I don't blame you for being Antsy, if it was a paid comission and it'd taken this long, I'd probablly be asking too. But considering right now I only have two paid comissions and thoses are the ones I really should be working on, I'm asking you guys to pleases stop asking -_- . I havn't forgotten about you, I promise, and right now I'm working on putting together a list of all the drawings that I owe to who to make sure I'm not missing anything. If you feel like I've forgotten you, please, please send me a PM with what it was you wanted and a Ref/Detailed description of your Charcter. I'll add you to the list and I will get to all your Request as soon as I can. To thoses of you who have been waiting patiently this whole time, I thank you and offer my deepest applogies for not being finished. With that, I will not be takeing on anymore pieces until my current Backlog is clear. I'll also post up the list in another Journal so you can review it and see if I'm missing you. If you would not like to be mentioned on this list, please PM so I know to omit your name.
And finally, we come to the straw that broke the Wolf's mind. This Month is NaNoWriMo. For thoses of you not in the know, that stands for National Write a Novle Month. A yearly event where writers from all over the world gather Online to literly write a Novel of 50,000 words. Unfortenatly, this event just had to take place in April, and I try to participate every year. Since the begining of this month though, I have only managed to write a little over 3,000 words. Yet another constant, mocking reminder of what a failure I am. As if getting up each morning and haveing to look at my face in the Mirrior wern't enough. The Month is nearly gone, and so I must make a choice. Do I continue on with my project or do I abandone it? Abadoneing it means failure, continueing on and not reaching my goal means failure. Even if I finsh it, what dose it matter? It is likely no one outside my small group of frineds will ever read, nor do I think anyone outside of them would care about it....But, I am a Fool. And if there is one things Fools don't do, it's quit.
To that end, I have some what of a plan, though I fear no one is going to like it. For the next week or two, starting Monday, I will not be Online. This means I won't be able to talk to any of you for awhile, but I feel it's something I must do. This will free up my Morning/Evening free time, which I will use one to work on my story and the other to work on my art, perhaps alternating what I do when. I hope you can all understand and forgive me, but I really hope by doing this I can get something done. If you want to send me luck or prayers, please do so. Lord knows I need all the help I can get.
In this global pandemic make almost everyone in the world in very bad situation.
Some still able to go out to work, some may work at home and some got fired.
It's very dangerous not wear mask when your work have to face peoples every hours.
Maybe you can make your simple own mask with fabric and put tissue on it. It's not better than N95 mask that paramedic wear but atleast it can prevent than wear nothing.
Stay strong and stay safe my friend. ^_^