so... today is my birthday. and i feel empty.

yesterday i found out one of my very good...good friend  wordsmith64 passed...
he died from a blood clot.. and the worst part about the whole thing is that i was almost done with his latest commission...
i thought i would never feel alot from this but he loved my art. he got so many commissions i was proud to call him my no.1 customer. it wasnt the money. i would do free art for life just to prove i dont care about the damn money at this point...

gets even worse... i had a wake up call. my sister called me that my aunt passed. 3 heart attacks...
she was like a mother to me and she treated me like if i was her actual son. same with my sis, bro, niece and nephews. that hit a bit harder. but i still even then..had to go to work. just to get my mind off things.

im not sad. i think thats a good thing. whenever im down in the dumps sad I have a little voice in my head think about suicide or wishing i was never born and it repeated over and over again.

today its just silence. it feels like a bad dream..

so yeah...happy birthday to me i guess. honestly i haven't celebrated my birthday in 3 years. defiantly not starting now.

as for my art im gonna try my best. i am still gonna finish his commissions. aswell as a tribute..

Rest in peace Mike.

Rest in peace Tia Mari.