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Finally Saw a Psychiatrist
5 years ago
Glimpse The Thoughts of Jack the Beaver
On Thursday I finally saw a psychiatrist. In the last few weeks my usually bad anxiety has grown hopelessly out of control. I was struggling to get out of bed in the morning because of how much I was panicking, I couldn't sleep (I'd barely slept at all for several days), I was crying uncontrollably and having trouble doing my job. So I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist, didn't matter who, just so long as they were able to see me ASAP.
I got in to my appointment, got asked the usual questions and finally got a confirmed diagnosis. Generalized Anxiety Disorder and OCD. I'm actually not surprised by either of those, the first one especially. What I couldn't figure is what set me off, he couldn't figure it out either, but something recently really messed with me. The OCD was a bit more of a surprise, but he pointed it to my inability to get off of thoughts and to let go of things.
I'm more frustrated than anything else. Because first thing I had to do was alert my employer. Mental illnesses are supposed to be listed on job applications in NC (I don't know if this is true elsewhere), under potential medical issues, strictly so the employer knows their may be issues. Or so I've been told. The real reason is so the employer knows they can toss your resume straight in the trash.
And now I get to list this. I'm not happy. My boss never responded, but seeing as I have a job I think it's safe to say I'm not fired. I'm also the top salesman, that helps. But I'm annoyed by this. I'm annoyed at how long it took, I'm annoyed with myself for being so stubborn. I'm annoyed with my parents who have told me so many times "Just stop thinking about it", despite my repeatedly saying that doesn't work.
Guess what, it doesn't work! You can tell me not to think about it until you're blue in the tits, and I will still think about it! For fuck's sake, even the doctor confirmed I can't just stop thinking about things, I need meds. Which I have started, the lowest dosage available, five mg. They give this shit to children.
Side effects thus far are nausea and upset stomach. We await some of the positives. It'll take two weeks. I've had other issues of late in life as well, but the biggest has been my anxiety wrecking everything. I can't sleep, I can barely edit, I can't write, can't do anything. I'm trying to fix it.
I got in to my appointment, got asked the usual questions and finally got a confirmed diagnosis. Generalized Anxiety Disorder and OCD. I'm actually not surprised by either of those, the first one especially. What I couldn't figure is what set me off, he couldn't figure it out either, but something recently really messed with me. The OCD was a bit more of a surprise, but he pointed it to my inability to get off of thoughts and to let go of things.
I'm more frustrated than anything else. Because first thing I had to do was alert my employer. Mental illnesses are supposed to be listed on job applications in NC (I don't know if this is true elsewhere), under potential medical issues, strictly so the employer knows their may be issues. Or so I've been told. The real reason is so the employer knows they can toss your resume straight in the trash.
And now I get to list this. I'm not happy. My boss never responded, but seeing as I have a job I think it's safe to say I'm not fired. I'm also the top salesman, that helps. But I'm annoyed by this. I'm annoyed at how long it took, I'm annoyed with myself for being so stubborn. I'm annoyed with my parents who have told me so many times "Just stop thinking about it", despite my repeatedly saying that doesn't work.
Guess what, it doesn't work! You can tell me not to think about it until you're blue in the tits, and I will still think about it! For fuck's sake, even the doctor confirmed I can't just stop thinking about things, I need meds. Which I have started, the lowest dosage available, five mg. They give this shit to children.
Side effects thus far are nausea and upset stomach. We await some of the positives. It'll take two weeks. I've had other issues of late in life as well, but the biggest has been my anxiety wrecking everything. I can't sleep, I can barely edit, I can't write, can't do anything. I'm trying to fix it.
DreamSelfWolfKP
~dreamselfwolfkp
I could tell you had OCD, but given I'm not a doctor, I couldn't really say it in full certainty. Considering I suffer from it too, as well as, anxiety, I kind of have the ability to tell the signs, but given I'm not an official doctor, I fear to state these things due to that some people would probably jump down my throat for even trying to diagnose anything. I would hope the medication helps you more than any medication did for me in my younger days as a child. As always, you are free to reach out to me if you need help in any of these more so panicked states. Just shoot me a message on Discord and I'll likely respond to it.
Indagare
~indagare
*hugs*
Bardawolf
~timid-wolf
Man, I feel ya. I went through the same thing 2-3 years ago, and have only just started to get over it. I was able to get over it with a combination of meds, and through getting back into things I really enjoyed doing that I'd practically given up when I started my first job. Doing art and gardening in my case. But if you can find something constructive that is rewarding to do in your off time that helps a lot (gardening, building things, fitness, fixing things, art, etc). And for me xanax really helped with the panic attacks.
CaptFox
~captfox
*hugs
HeavenSteed
~heavensteed
I am crestfallen to hear you've struggled so much but I am glad that someone is helping you. Let us hope that the tide will turn and that you can start making some real progress in your mental and emotional life.
