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[🔔Update] May 2020 - Medical Issues + Twitter Break
5 years ago
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[🚨 EMERGENCY] -> [💥 URGENT] -> [📢 IMPORTANT 4 CLIENTS] -> [ 📝 COMMISSION FORMS OPEN ] -> [🔔Update] -> [No Keywords]First update journal of the month.
I don't HAVE Dementia. I'm 27, I ain't that old YET. I'm simply experiencing a condition that mimics it, due to my genetics being incompatible with not 1, but 2 medications I've been taking since November of last year. My doctor explained that even though I am off of both of them now, they did slightly [temporarily] alter my brain chemistry, enough to have a lasting effect that will take some time to recover from.
The medications I was taking affected my cognitive sharpness, short term memory, some long term memory, focus, emotional regulation, and reactions to social stimulus. What this means, is, while normally I can sit down and force myself to focus on commissions, or chatting with friends or clients, that has been impossible the past few months.
On top of this, my short term memory, while it wasn't great before, has been frighteningly impaired. It used to be that I might trail off mid-sentence now and then, or I'd lose my train of thought after typing/talking about something for a while- but lately, I almost cannot even form a single sentence audibly without forgetting what I said 2 words ago. It is like living with a 2-foot circle of light around you, when everything past that circle is pitch black. It got so bad that just this week, I realized I'd forgotten what one of my siblings' names were, or what they looked like. I cannot explain how scary this experience was.
My frustration with it all has known no limits, and I have been trying to muscle through it as hard as possible-- all to have my psychiatrist tell me a few days ago that 'muscling through' this is not possible. I have to give it time, and it will improve as much as it can at its own speed, 'if it improves at all.' His bedside manner aside, I do believe it will get better in time, as I've already seen a small bit of improvement.
As someone whose income relies on commissions, and who is very afraid of forgetting important things or people, this was extremely hard to hear, though.
Rest assured- I am not using any of this as an excuse, but a reason. I know I haven't been handling my client contact correspondence or wait-times properly, and I know I do not have to apologize to most clients, as they are very understanding and gracious, but to those it HAS frustrated, I'm sorry.
I just wanted to update you all since I had this confirmed a few days ago by my psychiatrist, so I wasn't talking out of my ass and imagining things lmao. I have actually been quite nervous about sharing this, because people do have a very heavy, very negative stigma against anything even close to Dementia. I'd like to reiterate that I do not HAVE it, I'm simply experiencing a temporary condition that has similar symptoms. I don't want this news to make anyone look at me different. I'm the same person, just dealing with a lot of brain fog for the time being.
Regardless- if you have ordered a comm from me or a YCH and you wish to cancel it because of the wait, or because you don't have the funds anymore, PLEASE let me know ASAP. I can still do cancellations while I'm in the lull of trying to get well enough to work.
Plain and simple, if it weren't for work-related things, I wouldn't be on Twitter. I can't stand the site, and the constant input of either negativity, or just plain petty drama. I'm following as few people as I can, yet I still see too much of it. No fault on their part of course. I just had to realize that taking a full break from it, aside from checking for DMs once a day, would be good for me.
So you will not see me active on twitter for some time, just as a heads-up.
As a trade-off, however, I will be trying to be more active on my Patreon. It is my only source of income currently, between all this medical nonsense and my roommate being out of a job and people refusing to hire him for anything because of Covid.
So, if you're in a position where you could spare $5 a month, please consider pledging to my Patreon feed. There's already 100's of pieces, doodles, designs, etc that I have posted there that aren't anywhere else, so you'd basically be paying $5 for a magazine of new art content from me, and subscribing to see stuff in the future. [$10 gets you access to full animation projects and NSFW art]
-Animated Illustrations
-Animations
-NSFW
-Vore scribbles
are most of what I post there, but there's something for everyone.
Here's the link if you can spare a little support: https://www.patreon.com/starstruck_studios
My modest goal is to have 60 active Patrons by the end of 2020. I currently am flipping anywhere between 25-29. Thank you in advance for your support, and enjoy the pieces on my page!
Medical Issues
So, being short, I've had various appointments with my psychiatrist and a few other doctors, and they've come to a cautious conclusion as to what may be causing my memory/focus/social problems the past few months. This condition [compounded by my already-existing ADHD], mimics the symptoms of Dementia. Now, don't go jumping to any conclusions, alright? Just listen.I don't HAVE Dementia. I'm 27, I ain't that old YET. I'm simply experiencing a condition that mimics it, due to my genetics being incompatible with not 1, but 2 medications I've been taking since November of last year. My doctor explained that even though I am off of both of them now, they did slightly [temporarily] alter my brain chemistry, enough to have a lasting effect that will take some time to recover from.
The medications I was taking affected my cognitive sharpness, short term memory, some long term memory, focus, emotional regulation, and reactions to social stimulus. What this means, is, while normally I can sit down and force myself to focus on commissions, or chatting with friends or clients, that has been impossible the past few months.
On top of this, my short term memory, while it wasn't great before, has been frighteningly impaired. It used to be that I might trail off mid-sentence now and then, or I'd lose my train of thought after typing/talking about something for a while- but lately, I almost cannot even form a single sentence audibly without forgetting what I said 2 words ago. It is like living with a 2-foot circle of light around you, when everything past that circle is pitch black. It got so bad that just this week, I realized I'd forgotten what one of my siblings' names were, or what they looked like. I cannot explain how scary this experience was.
My frustration with it all has known no limits, and I have been trying to muscle through it as hard as possible-- all to have my psychiatrist tell me a few days ago that 'muscling through' this is not possible. I have to give it time, and it will improve as much as it can at its own speed, 'if it improves at all.' His bedside manner aside, I do believe it will get better in time, as I've already seen a small bit of improvement.
As someone whose income relies on commissions, and who is very afraid of forgetting important things or people, this was extremely hard to hear, though.
Rest assured- I am not using any of this as an excuse, but a reason. I know I haven't been handling my client contact correspondence or wait-times properly, and I know I do not have to apologize to most clients, as they are very understanding and gracious, but to those it HAS frustrated, I'm sorry.
I just wanted to update you all since I had this confirmed a few days ago by my psychiatrist, so I wasn't talking out of my ass and imagining things lmao. I have actually been quite nervous about sharing this, because people do have a very heavy, very negative stigma against anything even close to Dementia. I'd like to reiterate that I do not HAVE it, I'm simply experiencing a temporary condition that has similar symptoms. I don't want this news to make anyone look at me different. I'm the same person, just dealing with a lot of brain fog for the time being.
Regardless- if you have ordered a comm from me or a YCH and you wish to cancel it because of the wait, or because you don't have the funds anymore, PLEASE let me know ASAP. I can still do cancellations while I'm in the lull of trying to get well enough to work.
Twitter Break
Plain and simple, if it weren't for work-related things, I wouldn't be on Twitter. I can't stand the site, and the constant input of either negativity, or just plain petty drama. I'm following as few people as I can, yet I still see too much of it. No fault on their part of course. I just had to realize that taking a full break from it, aside from checking for DMs once a day, would be good for me.
So you will not see me active on twitter for some time, just as a heads-up.
Patreon
As a trade-off, however, I will be trying to be more active on my Patreon. It is my only source of income currently, between all this medical nonsense and my roommate being out of a job and people refusing to hire him for anything because of Covid.
So, if you're in a position where you could spare $5 a month, please consider pledging to my Patreon feed. There's already 100's of pieces, doodles, designs, etc that I have posted there that aren't anywhere else, so you'd basically be paying $5 for a magazine of new art content from me, and subscribing to see stuff in the future. [$10 gets you access to full animation projects and NSFW art]
-Animated Illustrations
-Animations
-NSFW
-Vore scribbles
are most of what I post there, but there's something for everyone.
Here's the link if you can spare a little support: https://www.patreon.com/starstruck_studios
My modest goal is to have 60 active Patrons by the end of 2020. I currently am flipping anywhere between 25-29. Thank you in advance for your support, and enjoy the pieces on my page!
Taking vitamins should hopefully help, though...
To give a bit of light at the end of the tunnel, they did eventually recover from it entirely, it took them roughly half a year but everything stabilized.
I was seeking out help from antidepressants [which, I know they work for many people, I just got very unlucky], and wound up taking Prozac [Fluoxetine] through November to January, then immediately jumped on Pristiq [Desvenlafaxine] from February through April. Pristiq was far harder to come off of, [brain zaps like nobody's business] and both made me very mentally and emotionally unstable, feeling like the world was going to end at any second. Breakdowns whenever I tried to work or talk to people, etc.
Good to hear they worked through it. I'm hoping to see some notable improvement in the next few months- not being able to do commissions for the past 6 months has been killin' me.
Stay safe and strong ^^