it's not that the quarantine is going on or that i'm stuck inside of home a lot when not at work, it's just that art itself has gotten boring and unsatisfying to me. It's always become a struggle to do my own ways of doing things over the last few years. the stuff i enjoyed i don't get the same feels from, me having over done the work for others or in the past requests and not getting the same effort put back and the over complimenting from folks to the point i just feel like if people like my stuff, then i did my job just fine.

i reopened commissions thinking if i can do this again, maybe i still have a chance at trying to down the road get a job as an animator or something, but in the end just not meeting those expectations and just failing again. It isn't as fun anymore and trying to regain something but also feeling manipulated trying to please others at times. People tell me just draw what you like and don't listen to others, but that is also boring. i like muscle, i like hyper, i still like macro even though i lost a lot of what made the concept appealing before. just too much to think about, this burnout feels everlasting and just trying to regain the fun factor or least the sense i can enjoy what i'm making feels impossible at times.

-Zylo