It's always sad. My family has lost... 5 dogs? To cancer, I think three. After so many (plus all the cats, some of which were claimed by desert critters) I've become numb to it, personally. But it's not by any means cringe to mourn an animal you lived with. Plenty of people do it and are considered by polite society to be normal.

she was the only dog we've ever had, this is the first time i've experienced this, it hits so much harder.

I have lost five pets over the span of my life. Four cats and a dog. The first cat was an indoor-outdoor animal, our families first pet. She was lost to "traffic", some dumbass driving too fast down suburban streets really late at night. The other three cats, two and then one, to old age and complications therein. The dog, likewise, with cancer being sort of the final straw.

So, believe me when I say, I know exactly what that entire situation is like. I have been exactly there, right where you are now. Anyone who says pets aren't family is wrong, just flat out. Or shouldn't have pets, if they have any to begin with. It is never "cringe" to mourn. Especially not a member of your family.

From what you've said about what happened, you absolutely made the right decision. It hurts like hell, and there will always be that little hole, that tiny piece missing. But you had to make a choice (you in the general sense here). My family agonized for a while over putting our dog down. She was old, had health issues, arthritis and digestive problems just for a start, slowly going deaf and blind, and now cancer on top of it all. But at the end of it all, there really wasn't much choice. Sure, we could get surgery. But it's expensive, chancy, and if she lived through it she'd have even more health problems. Her quality of life would absolutely go down. So, we as a family decided the best we could do was schedule a time, get everyone together, and just be there with the vet when we put her to sleep.

You didn't fail her. You did all you could, and from what you've said you were all there. That's really the best you can do.

If I can pass on some advice though. Think of it like this; You had that dog for 11 years. 11 years, where it sounds like she had a wonderful time. She was there with you, and you were there with her, and really that's all any dog wants. To love and be loved. And you had 11 years of that. All science, all spirituality aside, 11 years of complete, unconditional love sounds like a pretty good run to me. So don't blame yourself. I know my pets never wanted me to be unhappy.

i was a little curt w/ my other comment to you, so: thank you. this really does help a lot. especially the last bit.

Of course. I didn't take the first one badly anyway, but I'm glad I was able to help a bit. : ]

Anyone who classifies the mourning of such a key piece of your life is someone who is a failure of a person. If they can't empathize with losing a beloved companion, they're either lying, ignorant to loss, or a complete sociopath. I know a guy who's tougher than old leather and when his dog died? He was destroyed for a time. Anyone who says that's "wussy" or "weak" has an incredibly warped view of what strength is.

You didn't fail her by any measure. If it's inoperable, the most compassionate thing is to make that decision to end their suffering. It's one of the hardest decisions you'll ever make and requires true grit to make. There's no failing to be found here.

Sorry for your loss.

thanks, sam.... yeah. it's just. real tough. i'll be okay, just... not right now. not for a bit.

Healing takes a while. Anyone who places a set time value is (again) trying too hard to be cool, sheltered, or outright a sociopath.

You make progress, but take as much time as you need. So long as you make progress healing, the time it takes was the time you needed, babe.

Honestly if I had cancer I'd wanna be put down too ngl. You made the right call my guy

It's never easy losing a pet. It's not a weakness to mourn their passing either.

thanks, yo. it's not easy.

Holy crap, eX, be okay. <3

My sister's dog had to be put down not too long ago. I do hope things get better for you in the future.

thank you

I've lost a cat I practically grew up with to organ failure. Pets are not 'just an animal', they're practically family. Your dog sounds like she had such a fantastic life, it is just a shame her death was caused by something this drawn-out.

I'd guess your not having any emotional breakdowns might be a sort of shock or the like. Pet, family, friends, any of those can be absolutely devestating to have pass away. It hits hard and never really quite stops hurting, you kinda just have to live with that they're no longer with you, treasure the memories you've had with them and always remember them fondly.

that's the thing though, it wasn't drawn out. i mean it was, but... we didn't know it was cancer. we thought it was just old age getting to her. the revelation that it was cancer, and that she would've had maybe two weeks to live, came very suddenly. i wish we'd known about it sooner, so we could've spent some time with her when she was completely lucid.

oh jeez, I'm really sorry to hear you're having to go through this, especially so suddenly. I had a similar experience with the dog my family had since earlier than I can remember, losing a pet who's been with you through important memories when you were younger really is just like losing a family member. it's a serious shock, nothing embarrassing or juvenile about feeling devastated by it and needing time to process and cope. do what you've gotta do and take care of yourself, dude

thanks weary. it really is.

I am really sorry for your loss, my condolences. It's never easy when this happens the first time, I can understand that, We have put quite some pets to rest already too.

But I can assure you, you didn't fail her. I am sure you and your family gave her a great home and a great life and that matters the most. I am sure she was happy and to keep her in good memory is the best you can do. It will not bring her back, but she gave you as much happiness as you gave her and that is what a pet's purpose is. You need some time now to overcome these feelings, maybe sharing it with your family, that helps in such a situation the most.

thanks yo, i appreciate the kind words

It's my pleasure, the least I can do.