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On community and friends
5 years ago
General
Lately I've been thinking a lot about community and community building. Maybe because I'm so isolated with COVID? There are days I wish so desperately that I had the time/knowledge to code a website for all us to be on together. I'm contemplating trying to start some small projects like a newsletter and website directory to start. I'm tempted to pull tricks from my very early days online but I don't think those methods will work in the modern era. I'll admit I have been enjoying Fur-Affinity *much* more since the update allowed it to actually function on my phone. n_n; I grew up on forums playing art games, sharing and critiquing art, joining random RP groups if the thread sounded interesting... there really isn't a lot of space for that these days.
How do you make new friends online these days? I'm curious. When I first joined the community we found each other through fur-affinity or Babyfur.ME and exchanged skype usernames to chat. So much has changed since then it's hard to believe that was only 5 or 6 years ago! Wow! Now I feel like I casually like peoples posts on twitter and sometimes comment on them but it's hard to become closer then that. I think part of it is that Skype worked a lot better then Telegram or Discord since it was clearer when I was online and available to chat.
I know I'm not the only one who misses having more of a centralized community space. I have so many options for talking to friends I already know but making new ones has gotten much harder in the last few years. Maybe it just makes the ones I've made all the more special <3
How do you make new friends online these days? I'm curious. When I first joined the community we found each other through fur-affinity or Babyfur.ME and exchanged skype usernames to chat. So much has changed since then it's hard to believe that was only 5 or 6 years ago! Wow! Now I feel like I casually like peoples posts on twitter and sometimes comment on them but it's hard to become closer then that. I think part of it is that Skype worked a lot better then Telegram or Discord since it was clearer when I was online and available to chat.
I know I'm not the only one who misses having more of a centralized community space. I have so many options for talking to friends I already know but making new ones has gotten much harder in the last few years. Maybe it just makes the ones I've made all the more special <3
I've never been in like roleplay groups or anything but I'm always willing to learn and make new friends !!
I'm always happy to chat through twitter DMs or telegram. I also talk to some people via FA notes but it's easier for me to forget to respond. Let me know which platform you use the most!
Twitter sometimes is a pain into the butt because I'll post something and someone will respond but I won't see it? It does it with DMs too and I'm like "oh my gosh I didn't mean to ignore you!"
And awe you got me blush with the compliment. đ
I would love to have a central hub where we could meet up, have story times organized, maybe even have activity nights and such! I enjoy Telegram because I have my stickers but I know Discord is much better at a âhubâ type feel.
I am also struggling with the making new friends thing- youâre not alone. I have a close knit group and I just stopped venturing out of it but it does feel lonely at time. I would love to meet some more like minded individuals.
I do think a good Discord has a lot of potential. Then you could have separate rooms for people who want to discuss diapers AND for bigger kid topics. I used to be able to do movie night & free sketch streams and I miss it so much. Events and online community games would be so nice. I'm really interested in setting one up but I think I want to start a little smaller with a one sided "hub" website.
For what it's worth I'm always around for a chat
I can only imagine how awful it is if you are coming into the community as a new person. How would you find everyone? :( I wasn't a furry before this so I had to start totally from scratch.
I often think to myself that I really ought to message you more but then forget when I actually have time *to* message people. I need to start setting reminders or something :P
And as for Discord, it has similar current status settings than Skype, really. Plus having the possibility to have "servers" allowing people to congregate make it a much better chat alternative than Skype. Plus, you can voice chat and share screens and the like.
The only thing Skype, for me, really has going is that it's a "legacy standard" for a lot of people to communicate via voice and webcam. But other than to communicate with my therapist, I haven't touched my skype account in over a decade and didn't miss it at all. Especially for chatting, for which it always was a horrible platform compared to others like MSN/AIM.
Which brings me to my answer to your question:
Most people I know meet new people through group Telegram or Discord chats. That's how I've met about 80% of my new friends in the past 5 years. As some groups can have upwards 1,000 users, it's easier to find people to connect with I find.
Though I'm not part of the "big" groups (like the babyfur telegram channel) because I'm still battling with issues related to my PTSD, smaller and more controlled/intimate groups are amazing to find good people. Especially when said group has friends of friends. I guess that's as close to "centralized" as you get nowadays.
So I'd say give it a whirl if you haven't already. You'd be surprised how good those other two platforms are. :)
How do you find new groups on Telegram/Discord? I find the larger, well known one's to be too fast and hard to keep up with. I have a few smaller ones with friends that are excellent but they tend to be with the same group of friends I already have haha.
As for finding groups, it's mostly been through friends if I'm honest. I join groups my friends are in, or look for specific types of groups (like I joined the Ottawa ABDLBF chat even though it's a few hours away from me, but I'm often in Ottawa so why not?) and see if they're for me. :)
And I also try to contact people that seem nice in those groups, even though they are strangers. Sure, more often than not it yields little to no return, but those that did are very good people that I truly do enjoy chatting with and being in company of. :3
I realized at this point if i want to make a space I need to just go and do it myself. Most of my favorite group chats ive had were ones I decided to make on my own. I message all my mutuals and added them to a discord group. When I make new friends on twitter I ask if they want to join if they fit the theme basically lol. If i feel like looking for more peeps to interact w/ on twitter I go thru my friends following list and poke around for peeps who are mutuals w a lot of my other friends and usually we have some things in common
I don't like gigantic groups either cuz theyre too active, too many ppl for me to try and care about..
ofc im not talking abt babyfur stuff but it really applies to any community. I think a discord would be perfect for that as other comments say, you can separate chats for the kind of stuff ppl want to talk about or avoid. You can also keep it invite only so you don't have to worry abt underage peeps, etc etc
I wish I had more experience discord. I never really got into it because I don't like voice chatting much but it seems like it really could be perfect for now.
I always made my groups so me n my friends could chat in peace without worrying abt randos on social media loll so i totally get it. for my hobby friends and my artist friends, all my art friends n myself included r so drained from all the drama and attacks on artists ;w;
and I feel you, I miss how "back in the day" felt online a lot even if a couple of things r better now, it just felt so different
i'd love to chat sometimes though! i've never used fA or twitter before, whats the twitter community like? o:
There are a lot of babyfurs on twitter and many very nice people. It can be kind of overwhelming though. Like many social media platforms drama spreads faster then kindness. Many of my artists friends are trying to move away from it recently.
ooo it's really nice to here that there's plenty of sfw stuff out there! i've only just begun my search, so i'd love to hear some of your recommendations!! i wanna flex more of my own artistic muscle because i often have ideas for art when in little space, but i don't have a very good anthro style worked out yet, as i'm used to drawing feral animals (':
i think one tag makes things easier tbh. i come from the agere tumblr and there are so mannny, and certain groups hate others- it's a whole mess truthfully!
Also Kammy (who posted bellow me) writes a really fun comic, you should read it! toddlergirl also has a wonderful comic
It takes a while to get the hang of furries. I cheat a little bit and just draw ferals standing on their hind legs haha. Tumblr got really crazy. I used to be in the community ages ago back when everything was under ddlg. I understand the group fracturing into all the tags but it's a shame it turned into a bunch of infighting.
i'm definitely going to practice more! i'm not sure which method i like the most (fingers vs paws, also straight legs or digi) i'm trying to throw together a ref rn but it's still in the trial and error stage. i'll get there sooner or later i'm sure (;
Tweeter though is just... I get scandalized every day by some stuff people I follow like because it shows up in my feed.
Itâs not ideal, but Tweeter is so much easier for direct communication. So, itâs a mixed bag.
Long story short, I don't, honestly lol. Nobody talks to each other these days. Even to get comments on art is a struggle
Itâs really upsetting when a lot of how I derive enjoyment from my art and stories is based on the reactions I get to them since I canât enjoy my stories myself...
I already know how they end...
Itâs frustrating. I wish I could figure out the event that caused it, because apparently itâs not just me experiencing this comment drop off...
I can't say much for furry/babyfur as I'm not particularly active in the furry circles (and not at all with babyfurs anymore, although I lament the lack of a truly non-kink "kidfur" space just for having fun chats about nostalgia, toys, books, cartoons, etc). But I completely get the whole "liking posts but not really interacting" feeling. It's been a major shift over the past couple years and I'm really not a fan either. I value conversation and connection but things move too fast to do that anymore that it's become so exhausting.
I always feel terrible that you had such a bad experience with the babyfur community in the end. (Though I am glad I was able to meet you through it because I've been LOVING watch your personal projects expand) It's hard. I type longer messages and am only available in little pockets of time so chat based formats are really difficult for me to follow.
Ahh no don't feel terrible, it was never the right fit for me, I only started drawing that stuff for money anyways and never intended to be part of the community! But I ended up making some amazing friends through it that I never expected, and it did put me back in touch with my nostalgic kid side :D I'm so glad for the great friends I did make through it too <3 and that means the world to me, so thank you! I'm always blown away by your work!
And yeah I feel you on the way you kind of need to be constantly available to keep up too, being around for just small pockets of time it's easy to get behind or find your conversation was buried in a chat. Small discord groups and one on one chats are my go-to. >_>