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The Black Sheep
5 years ago
Long time no journal, huh?
Anyway, I've had this on my mind for a while. This isn't meant to be a moody vent or anything, just me kinda expressing a reoccuring thought I have as me, the guy behind the horse. (Which I suppose is what a vent is, but hey.)
It manifests sometimes as jealousy and other times as loneliness, the idea that a majority of the TF community don't want any association with me for the messy stuff.
I've seen second hand conversations of me that paint me as a shame, a lost talent, "The rest of their stuff isn't so good." And it makes me sad that, even though I love TF beyond everything, even though I'm quite fractly obsessed, infatuated and near enough have dedicated my life to it and all there is to explore with it, beyond just a simple fetish; There is a great chunk of people with the same intrest who don't want anything to do with me.
I'm ever so grateful for all those who have even made great, close friends through the work I do, I really am. But I guess what makes me sad is: There's always those into TF and messing, and especially plenty who are into just the messing, many a time beyond even that which I am. But I feel like I can never connect with those who are just TF, whether a fellow artist or just a fan.
I used to be just a TF artist for years, the messing side of things grew out of a fetish, but TF for me has ALWAYS been something more than that, I hope maybe some could undertand. Becoming an animal, it's a weird strange almost spiritual emotion (sorry to get weird but, yeah) I express it here mostly as sexual, the same way I do the messy stuff. TF can and will always be hot af, but then I can consume general transformation media/ ideas and a same underlying feeling remains, one not at all sexual but something else.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this anymore but tldr I feel like I'm fenced off (like some sort of farm animal ;P) from being taken seriously as a TF artist/ fan sometimes and fear there's potentially so many people that I will just always seem a lost cause, an outcast, that guy that draws the... you know.
I want to append this with the fact that I of course will continue to draw the messing stuff, this isnt me being all like I'm tired of icky, embarrassing poopy pants-ness. It's something I'm into and the whole getting pp hard thing is what people are here for, right? Just I guess TF is a big thing for me, beyond a fetish like messingis.
I don't know if this is a marketing/ brand fail right here, lol. Please, continue to invest in Jager bulges.
Neigh!
Anyway, I've had this on my mind for a while. This isn't meant to be a moody vent or anything, just me kinda expressing a reoccuring thought I have as me, the guy behind the horse. (Which I suppose is what a vent is, but hey.)
It manifests sometimes as jealousy and other times as loneliness, the idea that a majority of the TF community don't want any association with me for the messy stuff.
I've seen second hand conversations of me that paint me as a shame, a lost talent, "The rest of their stuff isn't so good." And it makes me sad that, even though I love TF beyond everything, even though I'm quite fractly obsessed, infatuated and near enough have dedicated my life to it and all there is to explore with it, beyond just a simple fetish; There is a great chunk of people with the same intrest who don't want anything to do with me.
I'm ever so grateful for all those who have even made great, close friends through the work I do, I really am. But I guess what makes me sad is: There's always those into TF and messing, and especially plenty who are into just the messing, many a time beyond even that which I am. But I feel like I can never connect with those who are just TF, whether a fellow artist or just a fan.
I used to be just a TF artist for years, the messing side of things grew out of a fetish, but TF for me has ALWAYS been something more than that, I hope maybe some could undertand. Becoming an animal, it's a weird strange almost spiritual emotion (sorry to get weird but, yeah) I express it here mostly as sexual, the same way I do the messy stuff. TF can and will always be hot af, but then I can consume general transformation media/ ideas and a same underlying feeling remains, one not at all sexual but something else.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this anymore but tldr I feel like I'm fenced off (like some sort of farm animal ;P) from being taken seriously as a TF artist/ fan sometimes and fear there's potentially so many people that I will just always seem a lost cause, an outcast, that guy that draws the... you know.
I want to append this with the fact that I of course will continue to draw the messing stuff, this isnt me being all like I'm tired of icky, embarrassing poopy pants-ness. It's something I'm into and the whole getting pp hard thing is what people are here for, right? Just I guess TF is a big thing for me, beyond a fetish like messingis.
I don't know if this is a marketing/ brand fail right here, lol. Please, continue to invest in Jager bulges.
Neigh!
You have a great gallery of goodies I think I've slipped in to before too.
Even if the subject matter is goofy as hell, it's fantastic that your artwork is much more representational than your contemporaries. They're absolutely gorgeous human/animal renders within artwork that's main goal is fetish fulfillment. It gives your art great value even beyond its fetishistic qualities, which is more than can be said for a lot of artists in the soiling/TF communities.
Basically: Your art is better than everyone else's and the respect you give both fetishes should be the norm.
Love the stuff and stay beautiful.
I definitely wouldn't say my art is better than everyone else's, but I'll take the complement XD
Thank you.
FA doesn't have a good system like that. Unfortunately, the sites that do have it get a tiny fraction of the traffic FA does.
About the only thing you can do, like 0DEL0 mentioned, is to have two accounts. I feel like many years ago, it was common to see divisions like a "squeaky clean" and a "pr0n" account; now I see more divisions like a "vanilla pr0n" and "gore/mess/whatever pr0n" account. Practice varies on the "naughty" account... I've seen profiles that say "Yes, this is probably who you think it is. Hush", and other profiles that say "This is the account where I post mess, see my lighter stuff at CoolArtist1".
I honestly thought I was the only one who felt that way. It is nice to hear I am not alone. Honestly I sometimes feel like the "fetish" side of TF for me might be a way that I sort of medicate away my anguish. Maybe it helps me forget how weird it is that I feel this way... Or maybe it lets me forget how painfull it is that I know what I want deep down at my very core is just medically impossible.
With that said... I will not deny the hotness of a new donkey boy! I think regardless of if the fetish is hiding something else... The fetish is a part of me all the same, and it still has a lot of meaning to me.
I don't know why, but all I want is to express it, in a hope that I can share it.
While it's behind a mask of fetishised porn here, it's still there.
The magical thing is, I see glimses of it from other creators, the idea that they know that feeling too and can't help but express it, even if it's subconciously, makes me giddy.
Take Mamoru Hosoda for example. I feel that he, beyond themes of family, dedicated Wolf Children to this feeling, even if he isn't concious he feels it. He couldn't even help himself when he made Mirai: He just had to put that "being/ becoming a dog" scene in the movie, even though it had nothing to really do with the plot as a whole.
I've had people come to me and express how their glad to have found this inside them and it makes me happy and fulfilled beyond words.
I guess what makes me down is the idea that there's people that potentially understand this feeling/ emotion or even are on the cusp of it and I can't connect with them because they see my purely sexual fetish of messing as disgusting.
I was, and to a degree still am extremely turned off by anything even vaugely scatalogical in nature... And yet here I am. I follow your comic gleefully and keep up with each of your posts. I won't say that you have given me a fetish for messing, but I can say you have given me a respect for it as a fetish, and the ability to accept it in the art I consume.
I do get you though. I remember finding some art here that I utterly adored, went to fave it and discovered I couldnt as i'd been blocked by the artist even though I'd never interacted with them before. It sorta makes you question what you've done wrong and I can only assume because im a babyfur/abdl artist?? I dunno. It does make you go round and round in your head, how do you fix it, how do you make amends and make all the people you want to like you...like you. but you cant and at some point you have to make peace with that and work out that Some people arent gonna like your stuff and thats fine everyone has preferences right? So maybe just focus on the folk who do like what you do.
Being someone as big as yourself I can imagine you get a proportional amount of mindless "haters" who want nothing to do with you even if you wanted to befriend them, which is a big shame. The massive name and community you've built for yourself around your work and all the stuff you get to do because of it is something I strive for, while still of course being grateful for what I have and can do with what I've got presently.
One day I know I'll make something great enough that those who shun me for the messy stuff will have no choice but to look and accept my love for TF and what I can bring.
TF is fascinating stuff to me, messing I can take or leave - but what matters is that you obviously enjoy both. That shows in everything you do and that is hot, more than anything.
Keep being you, 'cause you're awesome.
I really like your farm tfs, mindcontrol and as you know my main thing are equine tfs...obviously and there females. I also like messy stuff, but I have slightly other preferences there again. So are people individuals and there tastes and kinks vary.