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Why the broken heart?
5 years ago
General
This might be a long post, but I'll try to keep it straight to the point. This may be a small rant, so please don't take this too seriously. If you got offended, you're free to stop reading.
Anyway, for those who are still wondering.
Reason why i posted that random broken heart emoji, it's simply cause i was emotionally stressed.
Stressed that i couldn't hold up my steam anymore, i left most of the groups in every account i have, i also ranted and vented to some "friends" i know of. I shared my thoughts on why i did this, because i no longer feel like to be active to groups when i have not much to share about myself. Even if i did, and with a simple hi, they would just continue their own topic, it's what ticks me off. I rather leave them be i said to myself.
I even told them i don't have much peeps to talk with, and im barely active to groups. And what did they reply? "So what? There are others who aren't even talking at all," and "you can just simply chat lol." THIS IS NOT HELPING MY MOOD MISTER.
But after that, lots of thoughts piling up in my head, too much anxiety came over me. From that i tend to ramble whenever i rant/vent. Where did it lead me? These few "friends" just couldn't handle my heavy stress, they think it would just go away in an instant. So they just gave up.
Now i wonder, where's the "I'll help you no matter what, I'll always be here."? It turned into "I'm tired of you of being like this, so have it your way."
WHAT. THE. FLYING. FUCK.
Sure, we all have limits, but they know i barely share shit of my life. I barely even talk, yet they even got fed up trying to "help" me whenever im down. I sometimes complain over small things, that's really my bad habit. But they don't even have the time to listen to me, they'll just shut me up, telling me "you'll get better soon, i just know it."
EASY FOR YOU TO SAY
Then now they're saying I'll lose lots of friends because of this? Who are you to say that? Oh, it's because they're mostly active compared to me, of course you have hundreds of friends with you. Go fuck yourself then. And they completely forgot I'm stuck at home because of this pandemic, so i haven't been out to see my friends in months, MONTHS I TELL YA.
Now i don't know if this makes sense, knowing some they won't take the time to fully understand what i really felt. Thanks to them, my trust issues are getting worst. I'll always be cautious to the people surrounding me, worst, i cant even share my problems anymore cause I'm used to them getting fed up listening to my crappy reasonings. One cursed me and told me to get out of his life, cause of the same issue.
....
I'll just stop here, i have lots to tell but i rather save it for next time. If you made it this far, then damn. Thank you for your time reading this rambling of me.
Then again, if i offended some of you. You can either go to those friends who can fucking comfort you and gang up to me, it leave me be.
Heh... as if i have that many friends anyway...
Anywho, hope you all understand on my story here. Thank you and have a nice day, take care of yourself too.
Anyway, for those who are still wondering.
Reason why i posted that random broken heart emoji, it's simply cause i was emotionally stressed.
Stressed that i couldn't hold up my steam anymore, i left most of the groups in every account i have, i also ranted and vented to some "friends" i know of. I shared my thoughts on why i did this, because i no longer feel like to be active to groups when i have not much to share about myself. Even if i did, and with a simple hi, they would just continue their own topic, it's what ticks me off. I rather leave them be i said to myself.
I even told them i don't have much peeps to talk with, and im barely active to groups. And what did they reply? "So what? There are others who aren't even talking at all," and "you can just simply chat lol." THIS IS NOT HELPING MY MOOD MISTER.
But after that, lots of thoughts piling up in my head, too much anxiety came over me. From that i tend to ramble whenever i rant/vent. Where did it lead me? These few "friends" just couldn't handle my heavy stress, they think it would just go away in an instant. So they just gave up.
Now i wonder, where's the "I'll help you no matter what, I'll always be here."? It turned into "I'm tired of you of being like this, so have it your way."
WHAT. THE. FLYING. FUCK.
Sure, we all have limits, but they know i barely share shit of my life. I barely even talk, yet they even got fed up trying to "help" me whenever im down. I sometimes complain over small things, that's really my bad habit. But they don't even have the time to listen to me, they'll just shut me up, telling me "you'll get better soon, i just know it."
EASY FOR YOU TO SAY
Then now they're saying I'll lose lots of friends because of this? Who are you to say that? Oh, it's because they're mostly active compared to me, of course you have hundreds of friends with you. Go fuck yourself then. And they completely forgot I'm stuck at home because of this pandemic, so i haven't been out to see my friends in months, MONTHS I TELL YA.
Now i don't know if this makes sense, knowing some they won't take the time to fully understand what i really felt. Thanks to them, my trust issues are getting worst. I'll always be cautious to the people surrounding me, worst, i cant even share my problems anymore cause I'm used to them getting fed up listening to my crappy reasonings. One cursed me and told me to get out of his life, cause of the same issue.
....
I'll just stop here, i have lots to tell but i rather save it for next time. If you made it this far, then damn. Thank you for your time reading this rambling of me.
Then again, if i offended some of you. You can either go to those friends who can fucking comfort you and gang up to me, it leave me be.
Heh... as if i have that many friends anyway...
Anywho, hope you all understand on my story here. Thank you and have a nice day, take care of yourself too.
I'm still going to be here for you Geo, and you're more than welcome to come to me if something is up.
I mean, it might just be me, but it's harder to talk to people in my opinion when it comes to group chats, so I try to stay away from them.
As someone who usually is that person who people usually come to rant to, I can kinda understand why some people aren't cut out listen so much.
These can be some pretty hard topics to understand, so people can grow bored of listening even when you need.
Saying things will get better isn't always the solution either, especially when it's such a common phrase.
I mean, we don't have the answers to everything, but it's better to suggest a million suggestion of things to help, even if most won't work, it's better than nothing.
Or just do what you want and just listen.
At the end of the day, not everyone cares, and those who don't aren't worth your time.
Hope things works out though, even just a little. Try to do your best find the little things in life that make ya smile when things are rough.
Self care is just as important a help from others.
You don't always have to be active online, if you're stressed or anxious, it's up to you whether you wish to go online or not. Please give yourself a break for a while, and pray that things will be alright for you. When no one is there to listen to you, remember that God is always there for you.
Sure there's some users who care more about their own lives than others, but it's very rude of them to say that to ya. Some say "that's the life", but for them life is like that so it's not their problem.
There's some users did try to help in the past, but most of the time what I got is nothing more than frustration. Most of them were too broken to be fixed. Heck, even one of them was so desperate to get attention and love that, with ONE single drop of sadness, was enough to think of suicide! I had to immediately block him. Honestly, I REALLY want to help what I can, but I'm very afraid of getting the backslash for "not been helpful enough".
You do have friends who can give you a hand, or in this case, a paw. You have MattMacroPika, Vito, BenBandicoot, and a lot more! Stay with your closest friends, they'll cheer you up
I've been stuck in this house because of the pandemic ever since March 26th. Despite I have online friends, I sometimes feel alone because I miss both my job and my real-life friends. I even sometimes have something I wanna ask or talk about, but I know some wouldn't care to answer me, so I just kept it to myself. So, I get where you're coming from. And I'm terribly sorry you had to deal with that.
i know its been a huge while, and maybe a lot of time passed... but i am still keeping an eye on you all whenever i can. youre a great artist and a big hearted person, tis why youre suffering so much TwT as you have a lot of empathy, so you really need for someone, for a true friend to be at your side... so you can grow stronger and be able to surpass all these situations and the anxiety it brings xwx
sadly not everyone is open hearted, nor would behave as expected x_x as others cope with problems in their own ways and prefer relationships in specific ways, leading to things like these which they are of course not good... its fine if a person decides to be one way as long as it doesnt hurt anybody, but when it does... xwx tis why you need to be stronger,and rest sure that even if few, i am sure you will never be alone x3 this anxiety will pass, as sunshine shall give ya warmth again soon!
i dont know if you consider me a friend, but in all my capabilities i hope i can someday try to help you smile and feel better,at least with this message TwT youre a biiig cool woofer! and if you need to shout it out, do it >w< until the anxiety melts away! its the only way to face it!
then i learned from a friend that he simply didnt want to see me because my art isnt good enough for him anymore.
.....................like. ouch. that was extremely uncalled for. didnt know my art was the thing holding us afloat. i would have understood if it had been for another reason but THAT. what was more insulting was he talked a hell lot with people we both know but he never came to see me in particular. like i didnt have that spark despite both us sharing the same stuff we like. even today i wish he came back even if he didnt talk much but............yeah it is hard.
thing is it is fine to leave groups. but it is too hard to do so if you had already invested a lot of time in them by contributing a lot. even so it isnt right for "friends" to criticize you like that. they should understand your motives. you have no blame for what happened.
You really have become a cool friend to me Geo. You're amazing to talk to and even RP with. It's been an honor and it continues to be so just to get to know you. You are a good friend, no matter what anyone else says good sir. I promise i'm here if you ever wanna talk about it. I might not know exactly what to say, but i'll be glad to listen to a friend in need.