Needless to say, this has not been a good year for me so far.

Before the accursed pandemic started, I was already depressed and feeling hopeless, having lost the inspiration and motivation which made last year so successful for me. Despite seeking new friends and professional help, my mood remained low.

After the pandemic started, my mental health gradually got worse and I lost all faith in myself and the world around me. Eventually, things got so bad that I had to be admitted to hospital for the first time in seven years. But, this time, I was detained and admitted against my will after the night I tried to kill myself with a medication overdose. The morning I was detained was the worst day of my life.

After a two-week stay in hospital, I was thankfully discharged and reunited with my family and home. Since then, I've been maintaining my mood with games, television and music while receiving cognitive behavioural therapy over the phone.

As of now, I'm not feeling as depressed and miserable as I was at the start of this year. In fact, I'm making an effort to pass the time productively by working on pictures and songs every now and then. I even have Dungeons & Dragons, which I started playing last week, to look forward to every Monday night.

But I still feel like I'm lacking meaning and purpose in my life. I've been feeling this way since last December. Very often, I'm not sure why I do the things I do. Nor am I sure what kind of person I am. Most of the time, I just see myself as nothing more than a person who really likes games and the arts. I wonder if that's all I am...