Im trying.
5 years ago
From the Box of the Kittybird:
Hey guys.
Warning. This is a Vent/rant/I don't know what to call it. but I need to let things out.
Now I know I haven't been anywhere as near as active around here that I usually am, well Things are really starting to get to me.
This year has been really rough on us all. I know that. Mentally, Physically,spiritually and financially.
The trouble is.
Derpdraggy and I were trying to rebound from all the crap we ended up wading through last year, so we kind of took even harder blow.
But that is not about all of that.
I'm tired.
I'm so fucking tired of "what now?" It seems like every month has brought even more shit and trials.
I couldn't even hug my friends at my birthday gathering. And if you know me, you know that HURTS like fuck. Now I know why and I respect why.
I have been doing EVERYTHING that has been advised. I rarely go out, and when I do step outside its with a mask on.
Im tired of seeing my spouse tired exhausted and anxious. And we are doing everything we can to make ends meet, and catch up.
I have been working on commissions and trying to keep myself together. Sometimes successfully, other times.....well lets just say I'm not always successful.
I don't like to complain online, but I just need to get this all out there.
We are hurting.
We are ALL hurting, from so many things.
So many injustices, to many to name it seems.
The Pandemic
People who helped me get through some rough times with their writings turning out not to be the awesome and kind people I thought
And yes I firmly stand and believe Black Lives Matter.
And I know fucking know that Trans Lives Matter.
I am trying to work through all my commissions right now. But sometimes my mental state is just cruel to me. But I am trying.
I'm just so afraid, I'm afraid for my family who are a ocean away, my mum's health has always been a issue and they haven't always been the best at telling me if things are wrong.
I'm afraid for Tess.
I'm afraid for all my friends
I'm afraid for you.
I don't know what else to do.
So Now you know.
And I know we can get through all this and I am VERY aware it will be hard and...well...Its going to be hard.
I am trying to keep faith and hope. But sometimes The light at the end of the tunnel seems like it could be a on coming train.
I am trying.
I am trying to hold myself together.
Warning. This is a Vent/rant/I don't know what to call it. but I need to let things out.
Now I know I haven't been anywhere as near as active around here that I usually am, well Things are really starting to get to me.
This year has been really rough on us all. I know that. Mentally, Physically,spiritually and financially.
The trouble is.

But that is not about all of that.
I'm tired.
I'm so fucking tired of "what now?" It seems like every month has brought even more shit and trials.
I couldn't even hug my friends at my birthday gathering. And if you know me, you know that HURTS like fuck. Now I know why and I respect why.
I have been doing EVERYTHING that has been advised. I rarely go out, and when I do step outside its with a mask on.
Im tired of seeing my spouse tired exhausted and anxious. And we are doing everything we can to make ends meet, and catch up.
I have been working on commissions and trying to keep myself together. Sometimes successfully, other times.....well lets just say I'm not always successful.
I don't like to complain online, but I just need to get this all out there.
We are hurting.
We are ALL hurting, from so many things.
So many injustices, to many to name it seems.
The Pandemic
People who helped me get through some rough times with their writings turning out not to be the awesome and kind people I thought
And yes I firmly stand and believe Black Lives Matter.
And I know fucking know that Trans Lives Matter.
I am trying to work through all my commissions right now. But sometimes my mental state is just cruel to me. But I am trying.
I'm just so afraid, I'm afraid for my family who are a ocean away, my mum's health has always been a issue and they haven't always been the best at telling me if things are wrong.
I'm afraid for Tess.
I'm afraid for all my friends
I'm afraid for you.
I don't know what else to do.
So Now you know.
And I know we can get through all this and I am VERY aware it will be hard and...well...Its going to be hard.
I am trying to keep faith and hope. But sometimes The light at the end of the tunnel seems like it could be a on coming train.
I am trying.
I am trying to hold myself together.
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