Sorry for the lack of updates and or commission posts. I realized the last journal I posted was a fricking month ago. So here's another 'update' journal or rambles or whatever.

I'm still working on commissions, obviously. I spend most my time doing that. Have three almost complete linearts, two or three with almost complete coloring and started sketching a few original commissions and a edit/upgrade of a chibi I owed someone.
I'm sorry I am terrible slow. I don't know why I am terribly slow but I'm like this when attempting to draw for myself, so you aren't getting less time than my own art. In fact I think commissions are getting more time.

I feel like the months have gone by fast but at the same time it feels like time is going nowhere. I don't like either feeling.
My last post was about how I don't enjoy drawing anymore and my issues with a tablet.

I don't really think either have been fixed. I don't enjoy drawing, but I haven't since the beginning of this year. When I posted that journal I had been drawing Okami. I stopped drawing Okami for a while and moved on to Lion King. I worked on a comic I had been wanting to work on it but between mental illness and medical issues and a few mental breakdowns I quit working on that again right now. Not really doing anything at the moment art wise. Doodling random shit.

I wish I could say I am mentally better, or something has improved, but it hasn't. Everything is still the same and not any better. Not any worse but not any better. Still mentally 'unwell' and not really enjoying anything in life.
I have lost contact with a majority of my friends, all but two to my knowledge. Including one here on FA, but she's busy and won't reply and I don't want to bother her or anyone else. I don't really speak to anyone but my one friend and my dad.

I'm bored, lonely and depressed and dealing with the emotional baggage and self confidence issues brought on by a life time of emotional abuse from my mother. Which I assume will never go away. But whatever.
If I had to try and list every single thing that is bothering me right now I assume it would go on for hours and no one would understand because these issues are uniquely my own. Other people go through them as well but I go through them differently and holey my own as everyone else does.
I have nothing but time on my hands to be mentally ill and not do anything.

I miss my friends I have lost contact with. I often wonder if they still like me when they tell me they do. Who knows.
Discovered someone I hate is on a art website I joined recently. Not that she is bothering me or plans too, just stumbling across her art upset me. Don't like seeing her shit.

I'm happy to have my one friend who is probably one of the few reasons I haven't taken my mental issues down darker areas.

Sorry for the lack of posts. I am still working on commissions.