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Moving on
16 years ago
This feels nice and out of the way enough that I can sneak a small rant in without the people involved noticing... Not that I want to do anything behind their back or anything, id just prefer if they didn't read most of this. Yet I feel that it is important to get most of this out there to help the process of moving on.
It was only when I lost the opportunity with someone I loved that I realised what I had really lost.
For 20 years of my life I had figured I was asexual. Until I met this one person... It was then I realised I wasn't asexual, I was just waiting for the right person to give my heart to. She was the only person in the world I would have given my heart to, but she gave hers to someone else.
Its just not fair sometimes, you think you do everything right. She was perfect in every way, but alas I guess it was just not meant to be. 1.5 years of effort wasted.
The last 2 months have been some of the worst I've faced. I had never felt a connection with anyone like I did this person, they meant everything to me. I truly learned what it felt to go through heartbreak, what it felt like to die inside.
In these 2 months, i've seen the worst of myself, yet ive also seen the best of others. I would especially like to thank Shadowpelt, Oddisness and Darkdeamoness for listening and being there when I needed something to talk to.
The worst of it is definitely over though, and I can only start at looking at moving on and rebuilding myself.. Its hard at times, i've lost one of my greatest inspirations in life.
Its a bitch sometimes, but if you don't go for what you want in life, you will never get it... Theres no invisible force out there that says "You want it or deserve it more so you can have it.".. and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it from the start, it was always going to be that they would like that type of person.
There will probably always be a place for her in my heart, but I know now we can never be. The best thing to do is move on. One thing I have learned is that perfection is not constant... It can come in many forms, so there has to be someone else out there, that I would be willing to give my heart out to.
Even if she was 1 in a billion, that leaves at least 6 more like her in the world.
It was only when I lost the opportunity with someone I loved that I realised what I had really lost.
For 20 years of my life I had figured I was asexual. Until I met this one person... It was then I realised I wasn't asexual, I was just waiting for the right person to give my heart to. She was the only person in the world I would have given my heart to, but she gave hers to someone else.
Its just not fair sometimes, you think you do everything right. She was perfect in every way, but alas I guess it was just not meant to be. 1.5 years of effort wasted.
The last 2 months have been some of the worst I've faced. I had never felt a connection with anyone like I did this person, they meant everything to me. I truly learned what it felt to go through heartbreak, what it felt like to die inside.
In these 2 months, i've seen the worst of myself, yet ive also seen the best of others. I would especially like to thank Shadowpelt, Oddisness and Darkdeamoness for listening and being there when I needed something to talk to.
The worst of it is definitely over though, and I can only start at looking at moving on and rebuilding myself.. Its hard at times, i've lost one of my greatest inspirations in life.
Its a bitch sometimes, but if you don't go for what you want in life, you will never get it... Theres no invisible force out there that says "You want it or deserve it more so you can have it.".. and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it from the start, it was always going to be that they would like that type of person.
There will probably always be a place for her in my heart, but I know now we can never be. The best thing to do is move on. One thing I have learned is that perfection is not constant... It can come in many forms, so there has to be someone else out there, that I would be willing to give my heart out to.
Even if she was 1 in a billion, that leaves at least 6 more like her in the world.
But thanks for the offer, its great to see you again.