Well, if anyone here remembers my journal post of the girl that had the boyfriend and kept me in the dark until I found out the hard way; yesterday I finally found out the truth that I have been looking for. Although it is a truth that I wasn't looking for...........

Let me back track to how this happen, on Sunday night, I was with my friends after coming to the realize that I am dead and forgotten. And since I have been holding it in all this time, I just broke down and cried. My friends with me at the time knew what was going on and when they saw me at that state, they become mad and found her page to send her pms about how they felt.

Well come yesterday I was drawn to her art page where she finally responded; the first half to my my friends while the last half was aimed at me:

Okay. Everyone who knows me knows me. I'm a docile person. I don't like getting angry, so I don't. I'm like a mom more then anything. Heck, Chris even gave me the nickname Sha-Mom. Any of my friends can vouch for me when I say I'll give you the shirt off my back. But you know what, I'm flat out pissed off now.

Recently, I've gotten messages. I know the person sending them means well, but harassing my friends and guilting...not cool. It is guilting too. They people who were supposed to relay the info think so, and so do I. Seriously, what happened to maturity? Apparently, it went missing. One of the messages I got (not from the person constantly messaging my friend) was basically a polite way of bitching me out for not telling someone a personal matter. You know what? WHO I DATE, WHEN I DATE And so forth....It's MY business. No one else's. This particular message was insulting, saying I had no right to not tell the person my own personal matters. Guess what? That is flat out bull shit. I have every right to do it. Because it's MY LIFE.

Tsakaki, one of my closest friends, dated a boy named Adric. They've since parted, but you know...I didn't know she was dating until I met the guy. Did I act like a ridiculous childish, high school mentality-angst ridden teen and whine and cry about how she owed it to me to tell me? NO. IT WAS HER BUSINESS. If I freaked out like a brat, then obviously I wouldn't have been her friend. She was happy. That was all the mattered. Heck, I didn't even give a second thought. The only thing I thought was 'Oh, hey! Boyfriend. Neat.'

So, you know what? Call me whatever you want. I don't care. There's one thing you should know though. This is MY LIFE. MY PERSONAL MATTERS. If anyone has 'No right' doing anything, you and your friends have NO RIGHT involving my closest friends and in certain ways family by making them do and say shit they don't want to, because it will upset me.

Seriously. I know I'm being a tad immature here. But I have a snapping point too. You just hit it. Seriously. This is reality. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so stop acting like you're alone in the desert with no water. Stop acting like a whiny brat and a high-schooler. Stop being over-dramatic, because, by this point, it's just not even worth it. AT ALL. You can't love someone you've never even met face-to-face, and only spoke to on the Internet. Stop looking for sympathy, because everything I've heard and been told, everything I've read about this goddamn matter, that's what it is. That's what people close to me see it as too. Anyone can tell. GROW UP. It's done.

To everyone not involved in this matter, I'm sorry you had to see me be a total bitch, but I needed that out. You understand. I don't snap. Like...ever. So, as you can guess, I'm hella pissed off and done with this grade schooler shit that went on. I still love you guys.I'm sure you agree with me.

And this was actually brought to my attention by one of her friends, who even ask me to tell my friends to stop bugging her. The irony is that she is protective of her with she is hurt and yet at the same time, my friends did what they did on their own. I was even called a coward for not defending someone I cared about. Well after reading this and seeing how she really feels, what is the point of defending someone that absolutely doesn't care about you.

So there is the Truth I have been looking. And even now, I'm not mad at her; since there is no point in me being mad as it wouldn't change the fact and would only bring me more pain.

So now I am done. If she and her friends want me to stay out of her life, then their wish is granted.

Ironic, when you are simply expressing on what you feel about the matter, wanting to know one simple fact and so on, and you are accused of making people guilty or as she said "Stop acting like a whiny brat and a high-schooler." But like I said, I don't care anymore, even now I am simply typing this to get the emotions and thoughts out, trying to be more open.

If anyone that feels outrage or whatever and wants to respond to what she says, you have the choice. Because as for me......

(dips his hands in a bucket of water and shakes his hands)

I wash my hands over this matter. From now on, she is on her own; dealing with the ups and downs of life.