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Just a bad mix.
16 years ago
Hmm just felt like updating some things. I've been fighting with my family ever since I got back here which I expected though sometimes its worse. The arguments with my father usually turn out slightly better, though the whole reason we argue in the first place is because of how similar we are.
As for my mother, its different. For those of you that have met her, heard of her, or otherwise. She can be rather unstable. And, though the traits I acquire from my father are very eminent in my personality. I also take on some of her, less appealing qualities. Which I am wanting to work on, and have been doing so.
The past few months I've been in Kansas, I've been rather depressed for most of it. Sleeping 12-14 hours a day, not leaving a room for hours at a time, not doing anything productive. And while I've tried to pull out of it on my own, it hasn't been working. So to help with this,
I have a shrink! :B
Though I've no ill feelings towards the doctor, I say shrink because its a tad funnier to say instead of therapist. While I've only had two sessions, I can feel a difference. Now, the problem is not with the doctor. It is of course,
With my mother. Who doesnt want me changing the antidepressants I'm on, and would rather get me off of them. Which for a long while, I agreed with her. HOWEVER, after talking with my therapist, she thinks that the medicine I'm on, is probably making it worse and would like to switch to another. This angered my mother, causing her to turn into her controlling self. While I am living under her roof, and am her daughter, its still hard when you have a mother that doesn't want to let go of her, 'babies' Its not uncommon for mothers to have trouble parting with their children. But even when I was in Colorado, while I was talking to her still, I received phone calls every day, sometimes twice a day. That's not me being independent, that's her still checking up on my every move.
While I'm still going to see this doctor, and hopefully get my meds changed so I can move forward easier, I'm still going to be looking at colleges again. And this time, its going to be something I enjoy doing. While I did learn a TON while at AIC, next time, its going to be different. Though I have learned that 5 classes a quarter, wrong meds, and a controlling mom just make for, a bad mix.
As for my mother, its different. For those of you that have met her, heard of her, or otherwise. She can be rather unstable. And, though the traits I acquire from my father are very eminent in my personality. I also take on some of her, less appealing qualities. Which I am wanting to work on, and have been doing so.
The past few months I've been in Kansas, I've been rather depressed for most of it. Sleeping 12-14 hours a day, not leaving a room for hours at a time, not doing anything productive. And while I've tried to pull out of it on my own, it hasn't been working. So to help with this,
I have a shrink! :B
Though I've no ill feelings towards the doctor, I say shrink because its a tad funnier to say instead of therapist. While I've only had two sessions, I can feel a difference. Now, the problem is not with the doctor. It is of course,
With my mother. Who doesnt want me changing the antidepressants I'm on, and would rather get me off of them. Which for a long while, I agreed with her. HOWEVER, after talking with my therapist, she thinks that the medicine I'm on, is probably making it worse and would like to switch to another. This angered my mother, causing her to turn into her controlling self. While I am living under her roof, and am her daughter, its still hard when you have a mother that doesn't want to let go of her, 'babies' Its not uncommon for mothers to have trouble parting with their children. But even when I was in Colorado, while I was talking to her still, I received phone calls every day, sometimes twice a day. That's not me being independent, that's her still checking up on my every move.
While I'm still going to see this doctor, and hopefully get my meds changed so I can move forward easier, I'm still going to be looking at colleges again. And this time, its going to be something I enjoy doing. While I did learn a TON while at AIC, next time, its going to be different. Though I have learned that 5 classes a quarter, wrong meds, and a controlling mom just make for, a bad mix.
I Hope you feel better, and that your mother learns to let go heh.