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August 2020 Updates
5 years ago
General
Hey everyone. It's Jassy here with a August Update.
Been awhile since I made my last update. I intended to make this journal few days earlier, But I couldn't muster the strength to do it as this month is so far hitting me hard mentally and emotionally as it's been a year on since I lost my brother to cystic fibrosis on his 34th Birthday which left me heart broken and severely depressed to the point of suicidal thoughts along with guilt. Even to this day it still hurts and haunts me. I still get nightmares about it to this day.
And I guess it doesn't help with the Covid Pandemic we are currently in that still continues to demoralise me. It's like I'm in a state of purgatory. Not knowing what to do or how to feel about it. I lost a big part of myself when my brother died, along with my confidence and self esteem. And I just don't know If I can get that part back. I'm doing my best to keep myself from tearing up whilst I write this. I guess I'm just too tired and emotionally numb to cry anymore.
This month is going to hit me pretty hard for sometime as the memories are still raw. Maybe in time things might get better. I still love to continue working on artwork I enjoy producing and aim to get art done and uploaded I've been meaning to upload for months which I couldn't do due to getting commissions finished I owed. And speaking of Commissions, I've no confirmed date yet when I reopen for commissions. But I will keep you all posted on when I plan to again and via my Twitter page for those who follow me there. I may reopen later this year or early 2021. But I will let you all know.
And I still intend on setting up a Ko-Fi Account very soon at somepoint for when I get around to mustering myself up to doing it. As I thought It'd be a good way for fans and those who follow me to support my work if they choose to.
I still have my Twitch account mothballed and still debating on what to do with it. Deciding if I want to continue doing game streams or not.
My art uploads may be bit slower this month with how difficult this month is for me personally to which you all can understand. I also want to thank you all for the follows and support you have all given me all these years and continue to do so to this day. Especially on here and other sites I upload. It's deeply appreciated from the bottom of my heart. I feel like I'm letting you all down with my depression and slowness to upload at the moment and I do apologise for it.
But rest assured I'm okay and I no longer have suicidal thoughts much anymore and no longer have any desire to do such thing. But of course the sadness and guilt and painful memories are still pretty raw in me after a year on. But I'm still continuing to draw and come up with new content for you all to enjoy. Along with some new OC's and fun stuff I've been experimenting with.
I will try to make journal updates more often and Make Tweets on my Twitter which you can find here as well
https://twitter.com/JRedkat
Anyway. That's all for now. I shall make a journal update soon and hopefully you are all doing safe and well.
Been awhile since I made my last update. I intended to make this journal few days earlier, But I couldn't muster the strength to do it as this month is so far hitting me hard mentally and emotionally as it's been a year on since I lost my brother to cystic fibrosis on his 34th Birthday which left me heart broken and severely depressed to the point of suicidal thoughts along with guilt. Even to this day it still hurts and haunts me. I still get nightmares about it to this day.
And I guess it doesn't help with the Covid Pandemic we are currently in that still continues to demoralise me. It's like I'm in a state of purgatory. Not knowing what to do or how to feel about it. I lost a big part of myself when my brother died, along with my confidence and self esteem. And I just don't know If I can get that part back. I'm doing my best to keep myself from tearing up whilst I write this. I guess I'm just too tired and emotionally numb to cry anymore.
This month is going to hit me pretty hard for sometime as the memories are still raw. Maybe in time things might get better. I still love to continue working on artwork I enjoy producing and aim to get art done and uploaded I've been meaning to upload for months which I couldn't do due to getting commissions finished I owed. And speaking of Commissions, I've no confirmed date yet when I reopen for commissions. But I will keep you all posted on when I plan to again and via my Twitter page for those who follow me there. I may reopen later this year or early 2021. But I will let you all know.
And I still intend on setting up a Ko-Fi Account very soon at somepoint for when I get around to mustering myself up to doing it. As I thought It'd be a good way for fans and those who follow me to support my work if they choose to.
I still have my Twitch account mothballed and still debating on what to do with it. Deciding if I want to continue doing game streams or not.
My art uploads may be bit slower this month with how difficult this month is for me personally to which you all can understand. I also want to thank you all for the follows and support you have all given me all these years and continue to do so to this day. Especially on here and other sites I upload. It's deeply appreciated from the bottom of my heart. I feel like I'm letting you all down with my depression and slowness to upload at the moment and I do apologise for it.
But rest assured I'm okay and I no longer have suicidal thoughts much anymore and no longer have any desire to do such thing. But of course the sadness and guilt and painful memories are still pretty raw in me after a year on. But I'm still continuing to draw and come up with new content for you all to enjoy. Along with some new OC's and fun stuff I've been experimenting with.
I will try to make journal updates more often and Make Tweets on my Twitter which you can find here as well
https://twitter.com/JRedkat
Anyway. That's all for now. I shall make a journal update soon and hopefully you are all doing safe and well.
Hopefully when you re-open comms I'll have money to buy one. <3
I wish all the best for you, and I hope that things get better for you in the near future.