I haven't really spend too much time here. 2020 has been very chaotic for me this year. Going through a lot of physical, emotional, mental stress. I don't know where to start.

I am recovered from the accident back in February and am to walk again, but a couple things (like the discoloration on the knee) will still remain until at least a year after the trauma. I'm told that it's possible that I may not be able to do certain activities ever due to the injury. Work has kept me busy, but at least I'm glad that I have a steady income. However, I am single again.

Single again?! How?

Well, it seems to have been a build up since the beginning of this year. Whenever we try to get a plan to meet up, we had to cancel it due to various circumstances. COVID made it a lot worse. Couple months ago, I realized that my anxiety and depression has becoming more frequent because I fear that our relationship was dwindling; and it was. I discovered the 5 "Love Languages" and I value quality time and physical touch a lot, and because of the pandemic and having to recover from my injury, both of those values have not been met. We tried to get each other into some other hobbies, but we never could due to time and such. And while we had been chatting every day, my anxiety still is telling me that things have changed. I was hoping to get re-assurance that things will be okay, but I didn't receive that comfort. I even had a dream/nightmare that we broke up due to my anxiety/depression. And a few days later, that did came true. He said that I should be with a guy who is more available and supportive than he is able to. Since he's on a military base in another state, he's got a lot of restrictions that won't allow him to come visit me and they don't allow visitors. Of course, I was heartbroken. I blame myself and my anxiety and worriedness for the cause.

It's been a week since the broke up. I've recuperated for the most part. I understand that it didn't work out. We both have different needs and wants in a relationship. We have different hobbies, other than fursuiting and furmeets. Our fetishes/kinks are different, but at least we both give each other's a try. We gave the relationship a try, but it wasn't a good match.

I went to seek some anxiety counseling help and hope they can help me cope with these sudden anxiety/depression moments that I get. Sometimes it gets triggered when certain events happen and it makes some sort of a flashback for me.

Things have been rough for me this year, and I'm sure many of us are going through tough times as well. I wanted to let you all know (for those who still watch me here) of what's been happening to me. I hope to become better and one day find a guy who can fulfill my needs and I can fulfill his.