I'm basically posting this cause i just wanted to clear some anxiety and update my plans... or intentions would be a better term.

For a while now i have been trying to get further in my life and be more consistent and getting my life together and try and keep all the promises i've made to friends and family. Any reason i have not to has been seen as excuses. Maybe people are right. There are some factors that need to be taken to make sure i can be able to perform what i want to as i have no doubts in my abilities anymore... its literally everything else i have no confidence in.

I thought the worse of my mental and physical health over the years had come and gone but as usual i end up surprising even myself. either has gotten better over the years and now im just letting people know whats up. Ive had stomach issues for a while now, and while i admit i haven't had the most healthy lifestyle im trying to fix that so that things can be better for me in the long run. these problems may even be temporary and not life threatening like i think thought they are. but my mental health just keep getting consistently worse.

Around this week my mom is finally helping me get the help i've tried to be too proud of myself to get, and i just wanna see where things will go after that. i haven't forgotten the things ive promised or practiced on. but i think i just need to step back and re-evaluate what ive been doing., and try and reshape my mentality because im clearly not the same person i was a few years ago.

again im just keeping people up to date...I didnt want to be silent anymore. i wanted to upload some commissions ive worked on but id rather just wait till things get worked out. I WILL be back. that's the only thing i can promise confidently at this point. but i just need a small break.