I've been absent because a lot of bad things happened this year for me, covid ruined summer, my dear brother died and my cat died soon after his passing, and i felt myself like a zombie, sitting at home and not knowing what i must to now. I and my brother had many plans, he wanted to help me find a good job, buy a house far away from my drunken mother whore, maybe even take me on a big trip through india and show me their traditions, he knew i was gay and he was okay with it. He was such a great person, who believed that making good will return back only in good, but now he is lying 4 meters underground, cold and alone, i thought that everything was lost for me.

Then i remember the words he have told me many time, about how i must not lose control over yourself even in dire situations. He would surely wanted me to go onward, wanted me to life as long as i could, not getting drown into melonholia and depression over his death. I will go onwards like a soviet tank crashing through enemy lines, killing everything on its way, like an unstoppable train heading to its destination, like a flaming 3,000 degrees star riding through the dark void of space.

Why do you need to know all of this, yeah sure, you don't need to care over what i must go through or in what hell i'm living in, it's not your problem, and it's absolutely okay. You don't know me, you never saw my real face or shake my hand, i'm just an another human being in ocean of humans on internet, and that's natural, there are just too much suffering in this world, for me to ask you to feel sorry for my lost, or say a good word.

I'm telling you this so that you could understand why i'm lifting an iron curtain over my life's bubble, there will be no more request, no more friendly me who can just for good sake make art for you, i'm done, there is no karma! There is a good and very nice quote in Portal 2 "When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons!" And that how i will live from now on, i will make only those thing, that i want, not anyone's else dream, but my dreams and only mine!

That said, i wish you all the good luck, i'm going to go and make Xenosapiens a second most know original furry race in this god forgotten world, maybe became a well known artist and a video game creator. I'm not saying bye to my SFM stuff and FA, i'm just saying goodbye to my past self. It's time for new Iron curtain to envelope my poor heart.