Well aware I'm just a client here but I really feel this and empathise: "im rather reluctant to join some chats out of fear that my exes will be there along with people who still hate me for past mistakes and just existing". I was in an abusive relationship and there are some (assuming less now) rumours still going around in some circles, I also worry every time I join a chat. You're allowed to make mistakes and exist: this is part of being human. If you find problematic people in there, sure, it could be tricky, but you need to come to trust yourself to manage difficult situations with tact and dignity as you can and will do. That will come in time. You always have the option to leave troublesome group chats and that is perfectly okay too. Shit happens but you will deal with it with decorum and grace.

My biggest thing for drawing in people is to post regularly, every day if possible. Be visible and make it easy to access commission information from where you share your work. Grit your teeth and put up the daki post/sell because it won't make money sitting on the computer. I prefer doing YCHs with autobuys ("buy this slot" not "bid on this slot") but artists have more flexibility than me there. With starting YCHs, I ran them as "if I don't fill the slots will this be a waste of time?" If the answer was "no", I ran the YCH. If I would feel hard done by if the slots did not fill, I did not run the YCH and created a new one that would be good advertising (good topic/theme etc) even if all slots did not fill. Part of that is trial and error as I think it's individual how people choose to do them.

Advertising, advertising, advertising. Put together an ad here to make your name familiar in many places and grit your teeth and drop artwork into group chats that are applicable to this (put website link on the art itself and make your name obvious: some chat owners get their knickers in a twist over putting a written link but on the art is just "there" and ok). Networking in group chats is helpful but difficult if you're not one for nattering at all hours (so not me). I'd look at the marketplace chats in Telegram (I'm not too clued up on how to find things in Discord sorry) and set commission ads there (free but you can schedule them using Telegram) to appear on more screens and in a different place. I personally find groups and dropping work in when complete/public is more useful.

Frankly, most money does come from NSFW content but specific stuff like MLP gets its own kind of income. I feel like artists get a lot of flexibility with pin-ups that are tasteful/solo without having to delve into the "weird and wonderful" of extreme NSFW also, but that's merely my observation in learning and practise. A few niche specific uploads go a long way to getting on different screens and, well, it keeps things fresh. I don't like writing the same thing constantly so I try to implement as much variety as possible (unless you want to specialise in X thing, which very much works too).

I try to think of sites that furries use and make sure there's something of mine on there where applicable (reddit etc): getting my work on more screens and in more places. Essentially, you make it as easy as possible for someone to find your work.

Facebook seemed pretty good for the SFW side of things (I have a page but not updated, just a presence there) with people pulling bits in that way.

Always the option of paid ads on other sites too and trying any new (to you) sites that have a big audience. If your work is only available in one place it's not working hard enough for you.

Theme and season specific things are pretty good, especially creating room signs and badges around con season when we get back to that (ignore me if already doing this). In this vein, I do Halloween stuff in October and pimp it, plus Christmas specials. Ran a "gift voucher" for an X words long commission last year but it didn't get any takers, might work for you though.

Iron Artist specials, Inktober/Kinktober (Inktober had copyright fuss on it), all are fun bits to draw people in with different price points to cater to lots of people (that means having a commission option with a high price point too to balance it out in your regular slots/work type).

I've run blank now but when I'm doing the headless chicken dance of "no one likes my stuff I'm never going to get any more work in", I sit down and write a list of ways to market and get my work in more places, increasing visibility, along with creating new YCHs and trying to think of any special offers to run.

Side note - don't do special offers as a discount only. It means people will wait for you to offer discounts on your regular work before commissioning you. Make special offers something like "wing its" or "artist's choice" or a sketchier/quicker style, something along those lines.

I know that was a complete ramble and I hope I haven't over stepped there. There's a UK artists group on telegram if you want to join it - they're always super lovely.

I will only repeat to you what I tell myself when I'm doing the same. Breathe. Have a cuppa. Take a break if needed, but come back to make notes one what can be done, what needs to be done and what you can try to achieve it. I hope I've given a few ideas above!

If all else fails, I have cheesy motivational music playlists on spotify, but you didn't hear that from me...

Own it, because I assure you that you bloody well GOT THIS.

thank you amethyst. i needed to hear that. Sorry for the delay in acknowledging you, i decided to take a day to step offline and gather myself.
I think i just need to merge all my art profiles into one big thing instead of span out between 3 different personas of myself, its just been difficult and burned me out and ive felt like ive had to restart myself 3 times, so i'll be collecting my art under one guise.
I'll try putting out some YCH stuff to pick up some new attention, i actually made a sketchbook thats just full of figure practice and studies, so i'll pick out some of my fave poses from there to put out. See if that helps.
And i didnt think of the ads, but I guess they work? When spamming my social medias that im open, I just feel like its harassing my friends and followers, so ive started reducing the posting. If anything I need to make a new "commissions open sign" the current one is quite out of date.

One more thing im a little worried about is being unable to keep up, you mentioned trying to post daily, but im not a speedy artist, I cant really post at a daily amount, even though im on furlough, im not as quick as I used to be and the main market wants to see digital art more. If thats the way modern standards are, im not sure I can keep up.

I will see what I can do though. thanks.

This is sort of the eternal question these days. There's just so much art out there.

i agree with posting every day, or as much as you can. Keep yourself on that front page :)

FA ads work decently, I think.

Do trades! This one maybe isn't as obvious, but I can't tell you how many artists I've discovered because I saw their art posted in someone else's galary due to a trade and was like... oh wow I like this! I would approach artists that routinely do trades with folks. I'll note you with some suggestions of folks I've seen who do trades and might trade with you.

Make a streaming buddy. Generally socializing with other artists is a good thing. Ask  temrin for an invite to the artist telegram chat, you can talk with other folks in the same boat as you and its not a big public thing so its relatively safe. Doing trades / stream events with other folks will raise your visibility.

Trades huh?
ive gotta say ive been very reluctant and picky with trades, if I openly announce im offering them, i have to admit this sorry to anyone else reading, but i get a lot of notes from people who dont draw well/child like drawings and it puts me in a tough spot as I want to trade with those on a similar art skill level as me. I dont mean to sound elitist, but its a bit of a downer when i mentally finally reach a new skill level in my drawing that I dont get the same thing in return. so ive been closed for trades openly.
argh.
i sound so shitty, im sorry.

then the other extreme had always been "im not good enough to ask these great artists", but i think im confident enough that that is no longer such a barrier for me.
Thanks Goat-goat <3

Wow, I misspelled 'gallery' like crazy.

You should be picky with trades, and I wouldn't publicly announce it like its a thing. More like approach people directly. I don't think it's shitty at all. And some folks you approach will turn you down, that shouldn't discourage you. But if you can get even one trade with a reasonably popular artist, it should get a lot more eyeballs on your work :)

Maybe even eyeballs with money stuck to 'em :D

fucked if I know haha ;_;