So a few of you already know, but for those that don't I'm making an official announcement that I'm stepping away from commissions. Likely long-term, with the exception being YCHs or simple things on case-by-case basis (as in, no more slots or batches). I said the same thing at the beginning of the year, but then the pandemic started and I didn't know what was going on with my job, so I reopened just to get some trickle of income should I end up without work. But things have settled and I'm feeling safe in my situation again, so I'm re-hiatusing, so to speak.

You've probably noticed I haven't posted much at all in the last several months, and to my commissioners and inquirers I'm very sorry about that. But the title says it all. It's been fucking HARD to keep the drive and mindset fit for creative work. I can't say it's anything more special than what most people in my country are going through, but the last few months have taken a really steep toll on me. I've lost people I love, to various aspects of the chaos going on here. I'm backsliding from a lot of the progress I've made in therapy, in a really deep depressive episode the likes of which I haven't felt since childhood, when I was being actively abused and exploited. I'm not in any danger and I don't want anyone to worry, I intend to get through this, I'm just trying to explain.

I have to focus on me. I've loved doing commissions, I really have. But they've gotten to the point for me where I'm starting to see them as work that I *have* to do, instead of wanting to. I don't want that kind of resentment to take root in my art so I have to draw that line. Despite everything that's happening I'm in a point where I know I need to start working on the things I want to do, because if I've learned one thing from all this is that you don't know how much time you have. I've put projects on hold for a decade because I didn't have the confidence to take them on, but now I do, and I need to do them in order to not hate myself further than I already do. Because I don't have all the time in the world. I don't have time to waste on garbage thoughts anymore, I have to get better, and that means making the things I've wanted to make forever, just for myself and because I want to.

Art won't stop. I will still be posting, and I plan on continuing the projects I've been working on (yes, the Spice of Life series) and all commissions still in progress will be finished, or if you've messaged me to inquire about a piece and are still interested, please let me know. And always feel free to ask for some art or grab a YCH from the Master List link on my front page (there's tons left and I hate leaving things unfinished), but just understand if I decline or take a while. But new things will happen too. Better things.

Love you all, love each other.