How do I only write two of these a year?

I'm 24 now, and it's been a nice day.

The last couple weeks I've been working somewhat harder on comissions and my friends' kindness has been very well received, I'm thankful that doing some art work for them I've managed to get some money. I know I shouldn't be trigger-happy to spend, but I felt like it was a good idea to get myself something, as I've been taking art a bit more seriously as of late.

It's been one ride of a year. I had an internship at a company for my last school semester, the pandemic struck, so I had to work on it for a couple months from home with a family that did not quite take it seriously and a mentality that didn't either. I'm partially surprised that I did not fail any of my last classes, so I did it, I finished college back in may. I'm an engineer now, yay. I haven't graduated yet which sucks, but that's done.

I ended up rejecting the offer to keep working at the internship's company over how little seriousness I'd been giving it, so I know it wouldn't have worked as a full time job. It wasn't bad, if a bit dull, but I learned a lot and I'm thankful for my time in it. The next challenge has been.. time. I've told myself not to look for a job with some excuses: finish that last college project of the website you were coding, you don't want your parents to get sick, you don't know how to drive.

I guess I?m working on it now. I felt in a slump during june, july, but life isn't as sucky for now, I suppose. I know I cannot burn time all freely and that as much as it looks like I've gotten a decent earning, I have yet to do more. I'm telling myself that I am not too worthless, that I finished a career for a reason, and to just go out there and look for something. I still have the dream of working abroad, get good earnings, enjoy life a little, maybe even do something to improve my ocuntry sometime, that's nice.

I've had lots in mind. Lots. The last couple years I've had some terrible slumps during my birthdays with self-worth issues, but thankfully I took it slow this year, and it was a nice, relaxing day. That's mostly what I look for life, just something quiet with friends and family.

I got a lot of relatives today sending me videomessages to ocngratulate me, I felt extremely awkward about it, as I see most of them yearly at best, but it's some nice gesture, so in the end I'm thankful. And I'm thankful for the congratulations friends online gave me too. It feels nice to be appreciated. I think I spent most of my energy for the day as I am writing this, since I'm not feeling all too positive this moment, but it was still a nice day.

Anyways, I am trying. I'm working backlogged pictures, comissions and hopefully I'll finally get a driver's license sooner than later. I dunno, small steps?

It will be okay.