You idea of removing it, but leaving the vague allusions sounds like the best idea, since you're right, she was pretty out of character in that story.

Another solution is to rewrite the story, making Kelly do the same thing, but being a tad more kinder about it. (Like promising Dave a big reward at the end if he lets her continue for example.)

Those are both good ideas, thanks.

Yeah, I think you could go with the "There's a reward coming" idea, since that was the first time they had sex without a condom, due to her pilfering of a friend's birth control.

Still, there are things to be done about the why behind her rather sadistic choice of birthday sex, but I'm sure you'll work out something.

Yes indeed, I'd need to do some careful thought for that one. Lots of things to consider before I do anything though. :P

Well, how about this. You can kill... erm... hit, yeah, lets go with hit, three birds... erm... unidentified flying objects... with one stone.

Aw hell, there is no real allusion I can put to it with a furry site. >.<

Lets just put it this way, your looking at rewriting some of it anyway, your also in need of new writing(as all galleries are from time to time. :P ), and you are also talking about how the old stories have some flaws and such.

Why not go back to that pivotal point, and start rewriting, kind of like an alternate string of events. It will allow you to rewrite that one bit of storyline, which would change the storyline further, allowing you to create different stories and the such. That would provide new material, material that doesn't have the "flaws" your talking about, and would also help the storyline.

As for the stories that exist now, I'd say move them to the scraps, or just that one birthday one to the scraps. It would also allow people that enjoyed the material of the story to still be able to read it.

That's an interesting suggestion, but I don't think I'll be doing anything quite that drastic. The flaws in the other stories I was talking about at the beginning are just the natural effect of time passing, as your style changes and your talent improves, they don't really bother me that much. However, I might go back eventually and do an 'anniversary edition' of the first three stories or something.

An anniversary edition of the prior three stories would be interesting to see. And I know what you mean about flaws that are based on time. As you progress you get better, fix flaws you have made prior, ectera.

Whatever your decision though, I would still like to suggest that if it is to be removed, that it be moved to scraps instead of all out deletion.

Fair enough. I suppose if people still want to read it they should be able to.

...Ok, seems to me that you have found the pivot point from which the relationship grew; in this case, a tragedy, though a minor one. I see two options that might work towards solving the dilemma you feel you have. Option one, you retcon your way out of the corner you painted yourself into, using any of the methods reccomended above. Option two, which you have been taking so far, albiet kinda subconciosly, is to let the Parrishes' interactions wheel off of that point; let Dave be the more noble and forgiving, and have Kelly learn(as she seems to have) that reckless decisions seldom make for happy partners. This sort of test should evolve the relationship so that the story grows beyond a simple 'Us vs The World' sap-fest. I personally was only moderately surprised at what happened in the story, seeing as she is the younger of the two, and was looking for something like it to happen. I feel these sorts of things should be written into a storyline, simply to show how the couple would react, as individuals, to each other. Now, all that being said: the piece in question could do with a re-write, but mainly to soften the blow to the reader. For example, have Kelly glance furtively to her desk, give the hint of a contingency plan on her part. The excuse she uses is not that far off from being believable; it just needs a little work, is all. Also, I feel you should dwell on Dave's struggle between the consequences of his choice; let him arrive at the promise(you know the one) after a few minutes of thought. Basically, I always saw Kelly as the more mischievous of the two, and it came back to bite her in this story; but instead of destroying the relationship, It broke down a barrier between them: For Dave, he realized his sister, for her flaws(bad as they may seem to you or I), still needed him to love her; Kelly, meanwhile, was shown just how much caring her brother had for her.

tl;dr, I'm a nutjob who reads way too much into these things. And I would vote option two.

There is wisdom in your words. I particularly like your comments at the end about them realizing things about each other, it's true, they learned a lot from that day; they need each other more than they might even know. I'm impressed, frankly. It's almost like you've been paying more attention to these stories than I have!

To put it simply, I love a good story; and what you've got right here, with Dave & Kelly, is a good story! As for paying attention, that's what should happen when you pick up an interesting book: you darn well better pay attention! Devil in the details, and all that.

Just me, but it seems like the most prudent thing would be to rewrite or heavily modify the story in question. I haven't finished reading all of their stories, so I don't know to what extent you've alluded to this incident in following stories--if you simply alluded to it, you may be able to get off with a rewrite of the birthday story; if you went into great detail about it, you're problem is a bigger one.

If you choose to rewrite or modify the birthday story, the others may need some editing, but probably wouldn't require a whole lot, whereas editing each following story to exclude any mention of this apparently life-altering event might be a bit of a chore, as you've mentioned.

It also all depends on whether or not you intend to continue with the series for long. There have been a few story series' I just took the hit for and let slide off the annals of literary history because I chocked them up to learning experiences.

Hope that helps.

I'd really rather not abandon Dave and Kelly, I'm quite fond of this storyline and still have some ideas of where I want to go with it. You've got a point though, I'll probably go through my stories and see to what degree each one would have to be changed if I made heavy alterations to Kelly's Birthday.

My answer is too long and elaborate to post in said forum thread. Inasmuch, It would be irresponsible for me to post it here. If you are interested in my two cents, PM me on FA or Facebook. In the meantime, I'll be drafting the multi-tiered response.

Don't think I've ever gotten a response like that before, this should be interesting.

Wish I could offer some advice, but I think the folks above have given a good variety of answers!

Thanks anyway, the intention is appreciated.