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OLD DESCRIPTION
5 years ago
General
(I just wanted to say, a lot of this stuff is out dated. I keep it here so everyone can read it and know the real old me. My full story)
I’m just here to view, so I won’t be making any pictures. I do have a lot of characters but I can’t draw. I never understood the concept of art, even though I followed thousands of tutorials, I could never get it. I’ve always practiced and tried but. Every time I do I get no where. I’ve always wanted to know how to draw. Or at least have pictures of my characters. I have no talent, so I can’t make a fur suit, no money so I can’t afford commissions or a fur suit. I’m just kinda hopeless. I desperately want to be a furry, and have friends. I just wish I could at least have friends or something to live for. Anyways sorry if that got depressing, back to point, I’m just here to view. Sometime, maybe can someone here be my friend? Ive always wanted to have someone to care about and always remember. I’ve never really had friends my whole life and I don’t really know what to do. I’m mostly made fun of for being a furry from people at my school. Everyone hates furries there. So if anyone would like to be my friend please let me know. Anyways My YouTube channel is a depressed dragon incase anyone wonders. I don’t upload anything I just have it there cause ever since I figured out I can’t draw, that meant I’ll never be able to get art of my character, which also means I can’t get a suit, which also means I can’t go to conventions and meet friends. So I made that channel. I’ve been on this site for many years, but never had an account. So I made one to hopefully meet someone, and maybe some day, have a friend.
Edit: I’m still learning how the site works, but I think I get the basic of it. I’ve been dreading to say this but I think I should just get it off my chest. I have, multiple suicide attempts and have been thinking it for a while, and I’ve had no one to talk too. Highschool ends in 2 more years (more like 1 in a half) and I’m nowhere. I’m failing all my classes and have no hope for a future. I have no one to talk too and nothing to do. Please if anyone could help me through this just let me know. Again, sorry for going to deep I’m just desperate for friends. Does anyone have any idea on what I can do? My life is doomed
Another edit: recently I’ve had a comment here, and I just want to say, any interaction with a furry makes me feel hope. It means a ton to me just to comment to me. I’ve never had friends, so sorry if I mess up and word things weirdly, but I really want to be a furry with the rest of you guys. If anyone could just talk to me it make me feel great. Knowing someone’s out there who might know me. If anyone wants to be friends, please let me know. I’ve always wanted to talk to another furry, and have someone to care about. I know I can’t draw but I hope that doesn’t mean I can’t be a furry. I’ve always known about this fandom, and always wanted to be apart of this. People like me, who understand me. But the only thing I’m missing is I can’t draw. I hope that doesn’t restrict me from having friends. Can I still be a furry with you guys?
Newest edit: I JUST REALIZED THAT THESE READ DESCRIPTIONS ARE NOT ALLOWED AND IM SO SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I DIDN'T KNOW! I’m still new and had no idea what journals where and I’m trying to figure it out. I’m so sorry! Please don’t ban me, i just wanted to be like everyone else, and I didn’t know. If you can tell me how to make a journal, please do cause I have no idea how to
Edit again: I hopefully fixed stuff, and I won’t post pictures of read description anymore. From now on there in journals. I’m gonna try to pay for commissions from people soon, I’m gonna try on my birthday, June 27. And hopefully I get it to work. If anyone clicks on me, I just wanted to say a few things, I’m extremely shy, and cry a lot. I never learned to draw, and I don’t mean to sound clueless and mean. I just want to be nice to people. I also don’t have a job, so I’m kinda hopeless. I’m gonna be in jr year when school starts back up (if it does) I don’t really have any talent so I don’t know how the heck I’m supposed to get a job either.
Another edit jul 2 2020: it’s been a while. I just wanted to say, sorry if I screw anything up. I sometimes don’t know what I’m doing. I really don’t want to upset people, and I hope I’m doing okay, I’m super shy and I cry aaaallllooooot, and I mean a ton. I cry for hours upon end. I also get really jealous when I see other artist, and I hate that I feel that cause it makes me feel like a hard person. It makes me jealous that I can’t draw and make art of my characters whenever. I don’t want to be like this. I want to be a nice furry like everyone else. I just want to be like you guys. I can’t draw and it really hurts me on the inside. I don’t like feeling jealousy, I don’t like feeling sadness and I absolutely hate feeling anger. I want to make everyone happy and have a good time. I just don’t know where to start. I want to be able to go to cons like the rest of you and see people, but I don’t think I can cause I can’t draw. I’m sorry if I stutter or get really nervous when I comment on your stuff. I’ve never done this before and I’ve been way to shy to attempt it before. It’s a huge improvement that I’m even typing. I’m a scared worthless crying nothing who can’t draw. I hope I can fix myself, and no longer have to feel jealousy and be able to be like everyone. Seeing notes and comments makes me feel really happy too. If you guys know what to do, please tell me how I can fix myself. And for commissioners, or anyone drawing for me in the future, I’m sorry you have to put up with me, with no reference art. Especially molokaykle, I feel so bad for not having any art to show them, and there going through so much. I want to make everyone happy and enjoy them self’s too. I don’t want to offend or hurt anyone. I hope things are going good for all of you who see this. I’m sorry everyone, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I wish I could fix myself.
Edit jul 13: Hi, yes I’m writing in this again. I just wanted to write somethings about me i here. I can’t draw at all, which I think all of you knew. I cry a lot, like a lot. I’ll get really emotional, and I love to make games in my head since I don’t know how to do anything, and in those games they all have emotional cutscenes and stuff. I have lots of melodies in my head, but I don’t know how to make music so I can’t do that :(. I don’t really have any talent at all pretty much. I’m pretty broke too, I don’t really have much money either. I’m very sensitive too, I was also diagnosed with that, and things will hurt for me usually more then it does for other people. (physically and emotionally) I’m incredibly shy, and it will take me awhile to build up courage to talk to people, but i love having friends. I will get emotional attached to basically anyone who notices me. I cry when they cry, get nervous if there not doing okay, and want to celebrate when there having a good day. I would do anything for them. I spend hours crying at night sometimes, cause I’m nervous I will never be accepted with my art disability, and I’ll never be able to meet other furs. I’m mostly afraid I’ll be kicked out of a con in the future, or be banned for not making art here. I might say sorry a lot too, I’m always afraid that I will upset someone. I have this massive jealousy feeling that takes over me sometimes too, and I hate it. I do whatever I can to fight it, but it’s more powerful then me. It strikes when I see other art or fursuits, and I hate it so much. I want to feel happy for people, I want to be nice, but my jealousy is taking over me, I wish I could kill it. I hope it dosent make me sound like a bat person, I don’t know why I have it. It gives me all sorts of thoughts like “DONT MAKE OTHERS DRAW FOR YOU, YOUR WORTHLESS! NO ONE WILL EVER WANT A FAILURE, IT RUINS THE FANDOM. THE WORLD IS BETTER WITHOUT YOU. DO THEM A FAVOR AND GET RID OF YOURSELF.” and so on. When I talk to people one here, it fights off the jealousy and panic. When I see comments I get so much happier for a minute. And notes make me super happy. I love people here, everyone is so talented in there own ways. I just want to be like everyone. I have lots of anxiety sometimes, and I really hate myself. I was diagnosed with depression in 2nd grade and that probably explains why I always hated myself. I have no memory of this, but my parents said I used to say in 2nd grade “I hate myself, let me die” or something like that, I can’t remember. I mostly remember the torment from the mental hospital I went to for attempted suicide, but I don’t like to talk about that. If you want to know more, if I have the courage I could respond to a note that you can send me. In 2nd grade and in 7th or 8th I went to a mental hospital. 2nd grade for suicide threats, and middle school for attempted suicide. I really love hugs though, I don’t know if I ever mentioned that. If I ever met someone from here, I’d hug them until I die or until they throw me away XD. I had this thing, it was like a story for real life, it was called the cosmic crime. Long story short, me not being able to draw breaks reality, cause every furry can draw except for me, and when reality realized when I couldn’t draw, the universe would delete itself (it’s a super long personal story I could write in the future) and I thought I could save everyone and make the world better if I killed my self. (These were after my suicide attempts, it was a few months before school closed) in middle school, I tried to kill myself cause I couldn’t stand myself any longer, so I wanted to put an end to myself once in for all. And let everyone be free from my disgusting self. I’m doing quite better here though, I’ve never had this much hope before, and I’ve never had a friend before either. A friend that understands me, and cares for me. Me and roydrinksmilk are very close right now, he’s been so kind to me. Please, definitely watch him or at least favorite all of his stuff. I also wrote this in my description too, just incase something happens or not everyone can see my journals. I’ll write more about this in the future, were kinda busy right now. One more thing, I love to write stories of my characters (In my head) I can’t really read that well, but I loooovee making stories about my characters. I have millions of stories I made. The one of dusk backstory, and creating his planet and achieving his dreams, the one where he saved a lot of dragons when he invented his “dragon ships” the one with my protogen character, the “virtual commanded galactic crisis” a story about what would happen if the command block lost control and deleted the multiverse. I can never get enough of making stories. It’s my absolute favorite. Thank you for reading this if you did, it means the world to me. Have a good day!
If your wondering about my scraps, I’m gonna try to upload random views of my characters. 3 for each character probably, so it can help artist
I’m just here to view, so I won’t be making any pictures. I do have a lot of characters but I can’t draw. I never understood the concept of art, even though I followed thousands of tutorials, I could never get it. I’ve always practiced and tried but. Every time I do I get no where. I’ve always wanted to know how to draw. Or at least have pictures of my characters. I have no talent, so I can’t make a fur suit, no money so I can’t afford commissions or a fur suit. I’m just kinda hopeless. I desperately want to be a furry, and have friends. I just wish I could at least have friends or something to live for. Anyways sorry if that got depressing, back to point, I’m just here to view. Sometime, maybe can someone here be my friend? Ive always wanted to have someone to care about and always remember. I’ve never really had friends my whole life and I don’t really know what to do. I’m mostly made fun of for being a furry from people at my school. Everyone hates furries there. So if anyone would like to be my friend please let me know. Anyways My YouTube channel is a depressed dragon incase anyone wonders. I don’t upload anything I just have it there cause ever since I figured out I can’t draw, that meant I’ll never be able to get art of my character, which also means I can’t get a suit, which also means I can’t go to conventions and meet friends. So I made that channel. I’ve been on this site for many years, but never had an account. So I made one to hopefully meet someone, and maybe some day, have a friend.
Edit: I’m still learning how the site works, but I think I get the basic of it. I’ve been dreading to say this but I think I should just get it off my chest. I have, multiple suicide attempts and have been thinking it for a while, and I’ve had no one to talk too. Highschool ends in 2 more years (more like 1 in a half) and I’m nowhere. I’m failing all my classes and have no hope for a future. I have no one to talk too and nothing to do. Please if anyone could help me through this just let me know. Again, sorry for going to deep I’m just desperate for friends. Does anyone have any idea on what I can do? My life is doomed
Another edit: recently I’ve had a comment here, and I just want to say, any interaction with a furry makes me feel hope. It means a ton to me just to comment to me. I’ve never had friends, so sorry if I mess up and word things weirdly, but I really want to be a furry with the rest of you guys. If anyone could just talk to me it make me feel great. Knowing someone’s out there who might know me. If anyone wants to be friends, please let me know. I’ve always wanted to talk to another furry, and have someone to care about. I know I can’t draw but I hope that doesn’t mean I can’t be a furry. I’ve always known about this fandom, and always wanted to be apart of this. People like me, who understand me. But the only thing I’m missing is I can’t draw. I hope that doesn’t restrict me from having friends. Can I still be a furry with you guys?
Newest edit: I JUST REALIZED THAT THESE READ DESCRIPTIONS ARE NOT ALLOWED AND IM SO SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I DIDN'T KNOW! I’m still new and had no idea what journals where and I’m trying to figure it out. I’m so sorry! Please don’t ban me, i just wanted to be like everyone else, and I didn’t know. If you can tell me how to make a journal, please do cause I have no idea how to
Edit again: I hopefully fixed stuff, and I won’t post pictures of read description anymore. From now on there in journals. I’m gonna try to pay for commissions from people soon, I’m gonna try on my birthday, June 27. And hopefully I get it to work. If anyone clicks on me, I just wanted to say a few things, I’m extremely shy, and cry a lot. I never learned to draw, and I don’t mean to sound clueless and mean. I just want to be nice to people. I also don’t have a job, so I’m kinda hopeless. I’m gonna be in jr year when school starts back up (if it does) I don’t really have any talent so I don’t know how the heck I’m supposed to get a job either.
Another edit jul 2 2020: it’s been a while. I just wanted to say, sorry if I screw anything up. I sometimes don’t know what I’m doing. I really don’t want to upset people, and I hope I’m doing okay, I’m super shy and I cry aaaallllooooot, and I mean a ton. I cry for hours upon end. I also get really jealous when I see other artist, and I hate that I feel that cause it makes me feel like a hard person. It makes me jealous that I can’t draw and make art of my characters whenever. I don’t want to be like this. I want to be a nice furry like everyone else. I just want to be like you guys. I can’t draw and it really hurts me on the inside. I don’t like feeling jealousy, I don’t like feeling sadness and I absolutely hate feeling anger. I want to make everyone happy and have a good time. I just don’t know where to start. I want to be able to go to cons like the rest of you and see people, but I don’t think I can cause I can’t draw. I’m sorry if I stutter or get really nervous when I comment on your stuff. I’ve never done this before and I’ve been way to shy to attempt it before. It’s a huge improvement that I’m even typing. I’m a scared worthless crying nothing who can’t draw. I hope I can fix myself, and no longer have to feel jealousy and be able to be like everyone. Seeing notes and comments makes me feel really happy too. If you guys know what to do, please tell me how I can fix myself. And for commissioners, or anyone drawing for me in the future, I’m sorry you have to put up with me, with no reference art. Especially molokaykle, I feel so bad for not having any art to show them, and there going through so much. I want to make everyone happy and enjoy them self’s too. I don’t want to offend or hurt anyone. I hope things are going good for all of you who see this. I’m sorry everyone, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I wish I could fix myself.
Edit jul 13: Hi, yes I’m writing in this again. I just wanted to write somethings about me i here. I can’t draw at all, which I think all of you knew. I cry a lot, like a lot. I’ll get really emotional, and I love to make games in my head since I don’t know how to do anything, and in those games they all have emotional cutscenes and stuff. I have lots of melodies in my head, but I don’t know how to make music so I can’t do that :(. I don’t really have any talent at all pretty much. I’m pretty broke too, I don’t really have much money either. I’m very sensitive too, I was also diagnosed with that, and things will hurt for me usually more then it does for other people. (physically and emotionally) I’m incredibly shy, and it will take me awhile to build up courage to talk to people, but i love having friends. I will get emotional attached to basically anyone who notices me. I cry when they cry, get nervous if there not doing okay, and want to celebrate when there having a good day. I would do anything for them. I spend hours crying at night sometimes, cause I’m nervous I will never be accepted with my art disability, and I’ll never be able to meet other furs. I’m mostly afraid I’ll be kicked out of a con in the future, or be banned for not making art here. I might say sorry a lot too, I’m always afraid that I will upset someone. I have this massive jealousy feeling that takes over me sometimes too, and I hate it. I do whatever I can to fight it, but it’s more powerful then me. It strikes when I see other art or fursuits, and I hate it so much. I want to feel happy for people, I want to be nice, but my jealousy is taking over me, I wish I could kill it. I hope it dosent make me sound like a bat person, I don’t know why I have it. It gives me all sorts of thoughts like “DONT MAKE OTHERS DRAW FOR YOU, YOUR WORTHLESS! NO ONE WILL EVER WANT A FAILURE, IT RUINS THE FANDOM. THE WORLD IS BETTER WITHOUT YOU. DO THEM A FAVOR AND GET RID OF YOURSELF.” and so on. When I talk to people one here, it fights off the jealousy and panic. When I see comments I get so much happier for a minute. And notes make me super happy. I love people here, everyone is so talented in there own ways. I just want to be like everyone. I have lots of anxiety sometimes, and I really hate myself. I was diagnosed with depression in 2nd grade and that probably explains why I always hated myself. I have no memory of this, but my parents said I used to say in 2nd grade “I hate myself, let me die” or something like that, I can’t remember. I mostly remember the torment from the mental hospital I went to for attempted suicide, but I don’t like to talk about that. If you want to know more, if I have the courage I could respond to a note that you can send me. In 2nd grade and in 7th or 8th I went to a mental hospital. 2nd grade for suicide threats, and middle school for attempted suicide. I really love hugs though, I don’t know if I ever mentioned that. If I ever met someone from here, I’d hug them until I die or until they throw me away XD. I had this thing, it was like a story for real life, it was called the cosmic crime. Long story short, me not being able to draw breaks reality, cause every furry can draw except for me, and when reality realized when I couldn’t draw, the universe would delete itself (it’s a super long personal story I could write in the future) and I thought I could save everyone and make the world better if I killed my self. (These were after my suicide attempts, it was a few months before school closed) in middle school, I tried to kill myself cause I couldn’t stand myself any longer, so I wanted to put an end to myself once in for all. And let everyone be free from my disgusting self. I’m doing quite better here though, I’ve never had this much hope before, and I’ve never had a friend before either. A friend that understands me, and cares for me. Me and roydrinksmilk are very close right now, he’s been so kind to me. Please, definitely watch him or at least favorite all of his stuff. I also wrote this in my description too, just incase something happens or not everyone can see my journals. I’ll write more about this in the future, were kinda busy right now. One more thing, I love to write stories of my characters (In my head) I can’t really read that well, but I loooovee making stories about my characters. I have millions of stories I made. The one of dusk backstory, and creating his planet and achieving his dreams, the one where he saved a lot of dragons when he invented his “dragon ships” the one with my protogen character, the “virtual commanded galactic crisis” a story about what would happen if the command block lost control and deleted the multiverse. I can never get enough of making stories. It’s my absolute favorite. Thank you for reading this if you did, it means the world to me. Have a good day!
If your wondering about my scraps, I’m gonna try to upload random views of my characters. 3 for each character probably, so it can help artist
The good news is that Jesus already killed those things you hate about yourself. And all he asks in return is: 1) that you believe he killed those things and 2) that you tell everyone about him. That's it.
When you realize that God loves you, you start wanting to share your story. That's what we call a testimony.