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the truth and why it hurts so much....
5 years ago
DOCTOR DOCTOR GIVE ME THE CURE CAUSE CANT STOP LOVING YOU!!! OOOOH~
be a good guy or girl and make everyone happy you can always use a ray of sunshine in your life.
im president nixon ahhh ooohhhhhh
be a good guy or girl and make everyone happy you can always use a ray of sunshine in your life.
im president nixon ahhh ooohhhhhh
hello everyone its been awhile since i posted anything in art and been talking to anyone. for a long time i have been hurting inside holding my emotions all in and blaming myself for events in my life that have affected my family, me, and family friends.
for a long time i have been grieving over the death of my grandmother who passed away august 1st,2008. for a long time ive blamed myself for her death and her passing. the emotions ive always felt ive kept bottled in and it affects me. i felt that i was to blame for her loss cause i was there when she had the stroke and if i had been paying attention more to her and been by her side instead of leaving her room to go play games. my own mother tells me i was good at responding to her not saying anything when i heard a crash come from her room. while i cried and freeked out i felt like i was going to lose my own grandmother. i called my mother first and informed her and then called 911. I WAS THERRE AND I STILL BLAME MYSELF. i know it was a stroke but i still blame myself. i miss her it hurts to even post this but i feel i need to post it somewhere. to talk about this.
some people may know how this feels and i feel this is the only place i post something like this and not have someone attack me. i blame myself so so much cause if wasnt so deep into my game i could have been quicker or done something to save her.
I...I am always blaming myself for the destruction of my family. i have done nothing to hurt them but i feel this hurt everyone.
this has been eating away at me for a long time.
i went to a church and confessed with priest in a confession book but it wasnt what i was looking for. i told my mother and it still felt wrong. but this does for some reason help a bit but i dont think this is enough. im trying my best at the moment to help and find help as even though i feel like i have a happy life right now.....to no avail i know i have deep down depression that is slowly eating away at my mind as i am at work i blank out and have flashbacks to the memory of seeing my grandmother on the floor.
i know i am not to blame but i still feel like I AM TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY.
inside im aching....im hurting.....im alone......no one is here with me..... nothing is there
for a long time i have been grieving over the death of my grandmother who passed away august 1st,2008. for a long time ive blamed myself for her death and her passing. the emotions ive always felt ive kept bottled in and it affects me. i felt that i was to blame for her loss cause i was there when she had the stroke and if i had been paying attention more to her and been by her side instead of leaving her room to go play games. my own mother tells me i was good at responding to her not saying anything when i heard a crash come from her room. while i cried and freeked out i felt like i was going to lose my own grandmother. i called my mother first and informed her and then called 911. I WAS THERRE AND I STILL BLAME MYSELF. i know it was a stroke but i still blame myself. i miss her it hurts to even post this but i feel i need to post it somewhere. to talk about this.
some people may know how this feels and i feel this is the only place i post something like this and not have someone attack me. i blame myself so so much cause if wasnt so deep into my game i could have been quicker or done something to save her.
I...I am always blaming myself for the destruction of my family. i have done nothing to hurt them but i feel this hurt everyone.
this has been eating away at me for a long time.
i went to a church and confessed with priest in a confession book but it wasnt what i was looking for. i told my mother and it still felt wrong. but this does for some reason help a bit but i dont think this is enough. im trying my best at the moment to help and find help as even though i feel like i have a happy life right now.....to no avail i know i have deep down depression that is slowly eating away at my mind as i am at work i blank out and have flashbacks to the memory of seeing my grandmother on the floor.
i know i am not to blame but i still feel like I AM TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY.
inside im aching....im hurting.....im alone......no one is here with me..... nothing is there
amazing people you should totally watch as well.
Niis 
Maxblackrabbit 
Rahiros 
Cyiakanami 
NanoDarkk 
PotionmasterCernun
Niis 
Maxblackrabbit 
Rahiros 
Cyiakanami 
NanoDarkk 
PotionmasterCernun 
Jeffron
~jeffron
That sounds so unfathomably painful. -leezord hug- :
Teenkitsune
~teenkitsune
I am so sorry, as you predicted I know what it's like to lose a beloved family member, my grandfather passed away a year prior in October 2007, there was mersa going around and he contracted it while going through a procedure to get rid of a cancer growth and passed died not too long after, it was really hard on all of us, we all loved him dearly, my dad says he was robbed because despite needing to get rid of a cancer growth he was in great shape, too good to go so soon, and my dad was right, to this day it's still unreal that he left when he did. It was particularly hard on my mother who had to deal with the fallout on her own and it's not like me, my dad, and my brothers were able to do anything that helped, and my grandmother went through alot as a result having been married to him for ages and always depending on him, she really went downhill after that, didn't help that she had a stroke two months later after getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom losing her balance and hitting her head on the bed rail and needing to go to the hospital the next day, after that she was never the same. This probably doesn't help, all I can do is relate to your story as much as possible to try and ease the pain, I don't know what else I can do.
