So, this year has been hard on everyone. I'm no exception, and I usually keep most of my private matters to the minimum but since orders have generally taken longer to send out more than I'd ever liked I think I should explain and apologize. I hope you all understand and genuinely I'm sorry.

In the beginning of the year, I had a few family friends, as well as family die - most likely due to covid reasons but wasn't labeled as such due to their less-than-stellar health stuff.

So the last 4? or 5? months has been wrought with one thing after another. A slew of family matters to start, a LOT of my family being sick, then my main work computer had ate itself, so losing everything, so rebuilding all my work and finding all my notes on where I was, restarting all the commissions I had due at the time. Shortly after, I got the funds I needed to build the desktop I'd worked on getting for like, 2 years, so spent time dealing with that (along with fixing the laptop that ate itself), to avoid that issue again, only to be hit with some level of sick that lasted several weeks. That shit was horrible, to say the least. My family ended up sick again, (which means I take on helping with the house more) and less time for work. Obviously all this is a mental strain and I'd like to say I have good mental health, but I don't. I'm medicated for several reasons for mine and all of this has put a huge toll on me, physically and mentally.

Normally around this time of year I'm prepping funds for winter, like getting money for wood to heat the house but I've spent the majority of it keeping the house afloat and my sanity. Within the last two weeks, my doctor didn't prep my refill for my medication - as we agreed on last time we spoke - and so when I called it in they put me through the usual American Health Care System™ and gave me the ring around. Which, my meds give horrible side effects when I don't have them, ontop of my normal shit. So whoosh to any sanity or work ethic. I always feel like I'm apologizing these days and I'm sorry for that too, honestly. Add in my general unwellness of day to day (I get chronic migraines, multiple times a week, and some women-related medical issues) and you get someone who is striving to stay awake or focused long enough to type this without wanting to crawl back into bed into a pile.
Honestly my back hurts so much right now it's unreal. This weather makes me a fuckin' granny. It's so dumb.

Pudge - my dear beloved dog, has really declined in health as well in this last year due to her age, she's not so far to go over and beyond, but she's taken a good chunk of care that takes up a lot more of my time, she's losin' her little pug marbles in the head, ontop of needing more expensive dog food due to her lack of teeth and joints hitting her in her age. I've been having to buy extra stuff to help (which I'd do gladly) but it does take his toll/strain on time and finances ontop of everything, let alone the lack of sleep I get from her middle-of-the-night yowling fits where she forgets where she is or such. She's happy and still good, but she has some lost-my-marbles moments, I guess. It's obviously a struggle.

The last weeks have also decided to hit me with insomnia - likely due to stress, and I'm getting maybe..10-15 hours a week in sleep. ZOMBIE. JUST. ZOMBIE.

But, honestly, what made me break the camel's back and write this, was I heard just an hour ago my cousin died, likely due to malpractice. His brother is demanding an autopsy and the family is tore up. He was the first grandkid out of the generation and was genuinely liked by about everybody. Which is a bit difficult to do as you guys know in family matters. People fuckin' nutty. I don't admittedly have all the information on this one but I liked him too so I'm a little numb and exhausted to probe for details that genuinely wouldn't change anything. My mom will likely fill me in later but she loved him to pieces so it wasn't something to pry into.

So, with my sincerest thanks on your patience, I'd also like to sincerely apologise for all the waiting and would hope you would understand just a bit longer as I process and try to work through my queue. I should have a few things uploaded in the next week that I finished this week if things go accordingly but I'm frankly damned exhausted so I'll see what I can do.

Much luff,
one tired fluff.