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Complications and ADD
5 years ago
General
I am still having complications from a kidney stone, as well as blockage in my colon. Im in such pain I cant work, and due to having to call out a lot I know I will probably be fired soon.
I have to to back to the dr on monday for blood work. Im so tired of IVs and blood work that alone has been making me sore and exhausted.
On top of that, I finally after years of thinking it but feeling too emberassed to say anything, talked to my dr about ADD. She said I have adult onset add, but I may have had it as a teenager given the things I told her.
Ive struggled with years with feeling like a failure because I just...cant do anything. I cant focus on art, video games, my job, anything. And often times I feel the need to just constantly start over bc "this time Ill finish it all the way thru and complete all my goals".
Yeah no.
I often feel so overwhelmed with stuff I want or need to do that I completely shut down and wont do anything at all. Then I feel extremely depressed bc I didnt do anything and am a failure as a human being. If I cant even do my damn hobbies how am I gonna live a meaningful life. Whats the point.
I also suffer other stuff that goes along with it but this is my main issue Ive had for years.
I never wanted to talk about it tho bc of the stigma it has...and its weird bc I have always been open about mental health.
I have anxiety, depression, and BPD
My BPD gets so bad sometimes that only one person can bring me down from a "switch".
Its part of who I am and over the years I have honed myself to be a better person and overcome such obstacles.
But for some reason the ADD thing just...eeeh... I guess thanks to society and how they talk about, felt like an excuse for me being a failure and a loser.
But I know Im capable of great things deep down.
So yeah. I havent been prescribed anything yet, they are discussing about it still bc apparently insurances are stubborn about things relating to ADD when youre an adult...but Im sure Ill hear more when I get my bloodwork done Monday.
Everything is so stressful and fucked up right now...and if I lose my job idk what Ill do with myself esp since we are about to have another lockdown in my state...but mom says maybe itll be for the best so I can get everything sorted out. I still dont wanna lose my job though lol.
I guess we will see.
I have to to back to the dr on monday for blood work. Im so tired of IVs and blood work that alone has been making me sore and exhausted.
On top of that, I finally after years of thinking it but feeling too emberassed to say anything, talked to my dr about ADD. She said I have adult onset add, but I may have had it as a teenager given the things I told her.
Ive struggled with years with feeling like a failure because I just...cant do anything. I cant focus on art, video games, my job, anything. And often times I feel the need to just constantly start over bc "this time Ill finish it all the way thru and complete all my goals".
Yeah no.
I often feel so overwhelmed with stuff I want or need to do that I completely shut down and wont do anything at all. Then I feel extremely depressed bc I didnt do anything and am a failure as a human being. If I cant even do my damn hobbies how am I gonna live a meaningful life. Whats the point.
I also suffer other stuff that goes along with it but this is my main issue Ive had for years.
I never wanted to talk about it tho bc of the stigma it has...and its weird bc I have always been open about mental health.
I have anxiety, depression, and BPD
My BPD gets so bad sometimes that only one person can bring me down from a "switch".
Its part of who I am and over the years I have honed myself to be a better person and overcome such obstacles.
But for some reason the ADD thing just...eeeh... I guess thanks to society and how they talk about, felt like an excuse for me being a failure and a loser.
But I know Im capable of great things deep down.
So yeah. I havent been prescribed anything yet, they are discussing about it still bc apparently insurances are stubborn about things relating to ADD when youre an adult...but Im sure Ill hear more when I get my bloodwork done Monday.
Everything is so stressful and fucked up right now...and if I lose my job idk what Ill do with myself esp since we are about to have another lockdown in my state...but mom says maybe itll be for the best so I can get everything sorted out. I still dont wanna lose my job though lol.
I guess we will see.
