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Stern look on myself
5 years ago
General
It is possible that my english is a little broken. Be indulgent please. It's through interactions that I'm going to improve myself There are just some things that I prefer to face directly and others that I don't.
Just like I would rather be hurt sooner rather than later instead of trying to have some illusory relationship.
I try not to reproduce classic behaviors of other users/peoples that I see too often because I have seen errors too often repeated that I repeat myself by accident, that I try to rectify. This is why I have a severe look at myself for the most part.
This brings me to another problem... others are afraid to criticize us for fear of hurting... It puts some person in a vicious cycle whereby the same mistakes are repeated over and over. Because nobody wants to tell them what they have in mind.
I get tired... Especially since I do this because I want to be irreproachable in the sight of people and to myself. Because I am afraid of the judgments of others. It paralyzes part of me, especially in public...
(This is surely due to an old trauma from the past that I remember)
I don't like to say this kind of thing even to decompress, I don't want to impose my problems on others... Because I have seen too many people doing it... it loses its meaning and its value I feel like... too many wolf cries and i don't want to be part of them... but sometime... it's pain is just so intense...
Part 2 of this => https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9708841/
Just like I would rather be hurt sooner rather than later instead of trying to have some illusory relationship.
I try not to reproduce classic behaviors of other users/peoples that I see too often because I have seen errors too often repeated that I repeat myself by accident, that I try to rectify. This is why I have a severe look at myself for the most part.
This brings me to another problem... others are afraid to criticize us for fear of hurting... It puts some person in a vicious cycle whereby the same mistakes are repeated over and over. Because nobody wants to tell them what they have in mind.
I get tired... Especially since I do this because I want to be irreproachable in the sight of people and to myself. Because I am afraid of the judgments of others. It paralyzes part of me, especially in public...
(This is surely due to an old trauma from the past that I remember)
I don't like to say this kind of thing even to decompress, I don't want to impose my problems on others... Because I have seen too many people doing it... it loses its meaning and its value I feel like... too many wolf cries and i don't want to be part of them... but sometime... it's pain is just so intense...
Part 2 of this => https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9708841/
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Keep in mind that you will only hurt yourself by not saying anything. It is true that some might shy away from you for speaking your mind but the fact is, if they do that, they weren't going to be any help to you.
I appreciate you voicing yourself here, and will not push you away for doing it. I may miss a entry or....five because of my life and stuff, but that isn't me ignoring you nor dismissing your problems.
(I'd be curious to chat with you further.)
(You are welcome to shot me a note and from there we can either talk via notes or Discord. I have few other options to speak online.)
I don’t know what to type/say that can help you, but I hope you have people in real life you can talk to about these things.