this creature that i have become, how can i justify his existence? in ways i find myself stronger and more sociable than ever before, in others i find myself longing for connections that time has stripped from me like flesh from bone.. are these emotions a byproduct of the monster i am, or are they simply reflections of the masks my faces must hide behind? can i truly think of myself as a strong individual or should i wallow in the weakness i perceive? the one i depend on the most knows of my frailty and that is really all that matters, but i long for the open minded acceptance in all my paths.. why? does the trickster want permission to be naughty? what causes this? what keeps turning me into something i hate?