My deepest condolences. I’m extremely sorry for your loss.
That seems a bit strange for your job not to offer bereavement pay.
It’s honestly a bit strange, I lost my grandma a number of years ago and even though I visited her a lot her death didn’t have a huge affect on me, however when my dad died I believe within the last two years finding out actually affected me a lot more and I had to use the bereavement days my job offered. I can’t say why one affected me more than the other. Maybe it was because I saw my grandma so much more and I didn’t see my father irl since I was just a baby. (That’s over 30 years ago.)
I wish I had some great advice to offer, unfortunately I don’t really have any.
I’m always wishing you all the best.

Thank you for your kindnes and support. Im sorry to hear about your Dad and gma. Grief is such an odd thing. Unpredictable.

You’re super welcome buddy. It okay You’re absolutely right. Grief just like death is extremely unpredictable.

I know how you feel, my nan's in her final days, she had complications from a surgery earlier this year and got exposed to covid while in the hospital so I can't even go see her. It's the worst feeling. I lost someone else close to me last week on top of that.

The thoughts of being burdened with the knowledge that "I could have been so much more" will plague you, they always do. There isn't any right or wrong way to deal with someone's passing, it's one of those things you have to take one day at a time. Some days are easier than others, but that's just how it is sometimes, what's important is to take it one step at a time and deal with it at your own pace in a healthy way.
Sorry for your loss, hang in there~ <3

Thank you & Im sorry to here abiut your Nan as well. My gran was in a similar situation, multiple strokes, functiinality steadily declining and then a covid outbreak and a very sudden passing. I wasnt told if she had the virus or not, only that there were cases in her care home. Im honestly not even sure how she died. I think that bothers me the most at the moment. In any case, she's no longer struggling, so I am grateful for that in my own way. Thank you for the advice.

i lost both of my folks within 3 years of each other. I watched them both along their decline. Dad, heart and diabetes. then mom a stroke and watching her mind unravel in a foreign place. Internal bleeding took her in the end. I'm sure, You'll grieve in your own time and in your own way. That's how it came in my case you'll probably make other plans later. She'll understand. I'll be praying for you all.

Thank you and Im sorry for your losses as well. It mustve been very hard, I cant imagine how much.

Sorry to hear about your grandma passing away. A few people this year have lost grandmothers, lovers, friends their age and parents.

All you can really do is take things one day at a time and find moments to express your grief in a safe place. It's not ideal, but in being unable to visit Grandma when she passed on we have to know that she was thinking of you and your family and understood that no one was able to meet her in her last momemts. It is okay because it had to be.

My grandfather died when I was in college. Although I saw him a few days before he passed away, the situation lacked closure. The next time I saw him was when mom was holding his box of ashes. Took about 9 years of grieving to be at peace with the situation (especially since he and I were very close).

You'll find a way to move forward when the time is right. Some days will be a lot harder than others. The main thing though is that things will be okay again, just different. Consider yourself hugged.

Thanks for the hugs and sharing experience. Im sorry for your loss as well.
My gran wasnt very lucid due to multiple strokes, she couldnt speak in the end. It was hard to see her struggle with declining health and early stages of dimensia the past eight or so years. I thought I had grieved already, she didnt recognize me the last time I saw her and thought I was one of her kids (my aunt). But it was still nice to talk to her back then. I guess Im just surprised, I knew this was coming, for so long and somehow it still feels as stunning as a slap in the face. It'll def take some time.

I'm sorry for your loss

Thank you for your kind support

My condolences, hon. If there's anything I can do for you please let me know.

My grandfather died earlier this year and I couldn't go to say goodbye because of COVID. We did the Zoom thing but he lived out in the country, so it wasn't the final talk I really wanted to have. I've made peace with it now but it was mostly allowing time to pass before it happened. Grief happens to all of us differently.

Sometimes I stage conversations with him in my head. Sometimes it helps. And I have things of him, mostly his old ties that I wear to work. But I have my memories and he has peace. So I just try to work with what I have.

Im sorry about your grandad. Thank you for your gentle advice and support. I hope the rest of the year is kind to you