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Self reflecting
5 years ago
General
You know... I often hear big sentences like:
"If you don't ____, then you are a bad person"
"Only intelligent people would _____"
"It is the moronic low IQ people who ______"
"If you call yourself a good person, then you better _______"
People put some stuff up as factors that determine whenever someone is smart/dumb, good/dumb. It feels like a requirement, like a test to pass in order for people to respect you. Almost like a lion tamer cracks his whip at you and demands that you jump through a burning ring of fire, or else!
It is often said that everyone considers themselves to be good and smart, however I don't think this counts for me. I often saw myself as a real dumb person of inferior intelligence to everyone, and being a bad person kind of seemed to fit me. I always saw it as a reverse engineered faith in karma. Normally it's like "Good things happen to good people", but I view it as "I'm pretty unlucky, sad and lonely, so I'm probably a bad person".
All these sort of statements that I listed before have a weird effect on me. If am in the "bad/dumb" side of an argument, then I don't feel insulted, nor that I should change my ways, it's more like "Yes, you're right, I'm sorry that I exist". In situations where I am in the "good/smart" side of an argument is actually makes me second-guess my position, because I can in no way be smart, so perhaps I should be supporting a different viewpoint.
"If you don't ____, then you are a bad person"
"Only intelligent people would _____"
"It is the moronic low IQ people who ______"
"If you call yourself a good person, then you better _______"
People put some stuff up as factors that determine whenever someone is smart/dumb, good/dumb. It feels like a requirement, like a test to pass in order for people to respect you. Almost like a lion tamer cracks his whip at you and demands that you jump through a burning ring of fire, or else!
It is often said that everyone considers themselves to be good and smart, however I don't think this counts for me. I often saw myself as a real dumb person of inferior intelligence to everyone, and being a bad person kind of seemed to fit me. I always saw it as a reverse engineered faith in karma. Normally it's like "Good things happen to good people", but I view it as "I'm pretty unlucky, sad and lonely, so I'm probably a bad person".
All these sort of statements that I listed before have a weird effect on me. If am in the "bad/dumb" side of an argument, then I don't feel insulted, nor that I should change my ways, it's more like "Yes, you're right, I'm sorry that I exist". In situations where I am in the "good/smart" side of an argument is actually makes me second-guess my position, because I can in no way be smart, so perhaps I should be supporting a different viewpoint.
Sorry, I get very emotional at times, and it totally wrecks my head. I have trouble making friends, so whenever I see something as a possible issue people could have with me, I start to overthink stuff