I feel horrible because I'm under the impression that some of my friends don't like me because I act stupid around them. One time I showed one of my friends an animation I made in SFM and said it involved "bathroom content", and they got mad at me for showing it to them because they thought it would be something they like involving the bathroom rather than pooping, when in reality I could have been more straightforward although I think it was because I felt embarrassed to say it involved "pooping". Honestly, I can't believe how I fucked up so bad for trying to be different versions of myself with different people, not that I'm hiding anything or anything like that, what I mean is some people I'm comfortable mentioning things around while others I might try to imply it, or I might act differently around someone because they don't know very good English and I want it to be easy for them to translate what I'm saying. This one friend I have it's kinda been a downward spiral and I think it's down to miscommunication as well as me being somewhat anti-social. I want to go to bed and cry because I miss some of my friends and I feel like I'm treated badly.

How can I end this nightmare? Imagine having a nightmare while you're awake 24/7 because your friends hate you. I'm not saying I'm gonna end it all or anything like that, and I'm not talking about anyone in particular, but if you happen to have such a negative opinion of me that you're seriously gonna comment that I deserve all the hate or that I should kms then you're no better then the light you interpret me in.