Incredible
Absolutely phenomenal-
Every single word, about what you just said,
Is completely wrong,
And I’m going to stake my decade of scientific reputation on that claim.

The holiday depression hits hard, and I’m not going to say something cliche and invalid like “ooh don’t let it get to you” or whatever, because that doesn’t fuckign help.

You have only lived less than a quarter of your full life, and happen to be in a rough patch- hell, maybe a rough year and a half. But here’s the thing-
Time moves on. Your problems are valid and your feelings are valid, and you deserve better, absolutely-
However, you have to keep in mind that, for every second you continue living, you are *winning.*
And every second you stay alive, you are one second closer to the next good time, to the next good news, to the next good time.
People are prone to judge their futures squarely by how they are feeling presently- and I am no different. However, emotions will pass, and thoughts will change. Maybe not as quickly as one would like, but still, they will always change.
Even if you think you have no purpose- which you DO-
Commit yourself to something, no matter how minor, that you enjoy doing, until this feeling passes.
A video game, a book, a video- any sort of interesting, engaging distraction, will shorten that time until you start feeling good once again.
The bad feelings will end.
You need to keep fighting,
Keep moving forward,
Advance.

I can't say that I've ever gotten to know you personally, but I just wanted to add some stuff from my friend below.

While life can be inherently chaotic, there's a sense to the madness, no matter how bizzare, mean, or scary it can be sometimes. But through it all, there are people who are on the opposite end of this spectrum. Where they're comforting, kind, and friendly. Which is probably just as confusing as the other end spectrum. How the hell can there be people who can give you support in a time of need, or madness.

It's because people are strong, and thoughtful. They can see something within yourself that maybe no other people can see. Maybe it's your own hidden potential, something that inspires something within themselves, or just your own past deeds that have stopped thanks to what is going on around yourself.

I can get that it's surprising to hear, feel, or even know that. But it's an imutable fact that there are people that'll care about you, for whatever reason. Even right now, I want to see you be happy, even if I've never actually gotten to know you better. I just care for each and individual person that has come my own way, even if we've never met before, officially or even personally. I still care for all the random people of the world.

Unless of course they're just straight up assholes who can't change, or are just wayyyyyy too toxic for myself. Which of course, you are neither. You're a beautiful human being with your own set of skills. And you deserve all the kindness within everyone else in the world. I hope to talk to you in the future, at least to help you with whatever may be going on with yourself in the future.

Support is just an ask away, where ever you are.

Best of wishes to you, and take care.