Changing from my last journal, my god. I'm so not wanting to read that! Sorry I left that up there for you guys to view for so long! Uh, anyway, yeah, it's been one full month since then, and despite the fact that I still miss my dad, I'm not as sad as before. I've got symptoms of depression, (i.e. constantly sleeping), but I've been pretty productive over this break as opposed to a lot of other breaks. It's like I was perfectly content and happy with being lazy and hardly updating my work.

But since my dad's death, I've gotten this voice in my head, albeit a harsh voice, that motivates me to keep working, keep improving, stop being negative, and to stop sleeping all the time. Give people reason to like your work, to want to talk to you, to want to be your friend, to call on you when they need a job done, and don't whine when you don't get attention, just be patient.

I know it sounds unreal, but I really think it's my dad motivating me to succeed. To succeed where he failed. And I hope I make him proud.