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Feeling Dead in Life
5 years ago
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Hello everyone!
I hope everyone has had a good 2021 so far with the first week already gone in January. I am just writing this down to update people that I have confidence in myself to draw again and will be drawing more often when I can now. So, expect much more art streams coming on at around 8pm - 11pm (GMT+8).
As for everything else, I really don't know what to say. My life seems bleak right now. Nothing's really improving, nothing's really going up the scales other than my weight. I just feel dead inside. I don't have the spark to be in my job anymore and it hurts me greatly because of me not taking care of myself; I won't have a raise this year. Frankly, I have not been taking care of myself. I walk in the rain, I leave my room in a mess and I get sick often because of it. I just feel like crying everyday and I don't know why. I mostly feel like I don't want to work at all anymore. I just feel like I want to just lay on my bed for the rest of my life. My spark to live has been snuffed out and I don't know what to do anymore. My eyesight is getting worse, my weight is getting worse, maybe my other illnesses are too and I am not seeing it.
I am just at a loss at what to do in life anymore. I feel lonely and lost almost every day.
At this point, I don't feel like I have the will to live anymore.
*sigh* I don't know what to do.
I hope everyone has had a good 2021 so far with the first week already gone in January. I am just writing this down to update people that I have confidence in myself to draw again and will be drawing more often when I can now. So, expect much more art streams coming on at around 8pm - 11pm (GMT+8).
As for everything else, I really don't know what to say. My life seems bleak right now. Nothing's really improving, nothing's really going up the scales other than my weight. I just feel dead inside. I don't have the spark to be in my job anymore and it hurts me greatly because of me not taking care of myself; I won't have a raise this year. Frankly, I have not been taking care of myself. I walk in the rain, I leave my room in a mess and I get sick often because of it. I just feel like crying everyday and I don't know why. I mostly feel like I don't want to work at all anymore. I just feel like I want to just lay on my bed for the rest of my life. My spark to live has been snuffed out and I don't know what to do anymore. My eyesight is getting worse, my weight is getting worse, maybe my other illnesses are too and I am not seeing it.
I am just at a loss at what to do in life anymore. I feel lonely and lost almost every day.
At this point, I don't feel like I have the will to live anymore.
*sigh* I don't know what to do.
Life is a hellish nightmare and I live my own version of that too. If you can make it through the day then so can I. Good luck and godspeed. <3
My heart really goes out to you and I understand you're going through a tough time right now because of 2020 and it's okay to show your sadness when vulnerable, but please understand you don't have to go through this alone and that life doesn't have to be a constant bummer...
Most importantly, you must find a way to light the darkness... even a tiny spark in the blackness is good enough - as long as you keep adding more lumens to the spark until it's a bright star... I know you're an incredibly passionate and talented artist and you have a long life ahead of you, so make sure you find some way to make every minute of it count! I'm aware I'm not in a position to tell you what to do right now because I can tell you're feeling really down, but just pursue and do something that makes you happy in some way, shape, and form; your skills plus your passions plus your ability to persevere through life's hurdles will certainly mean success for you... and if you're feeling so depressed that you're in a state of limbo, I strongly recommend you reach out for help and advice when you can - and on that note, perhaps playing Kind Words (a warm, cozy video game all about sending/receiving caring, supportive letters to real people, if any of you are going through a rough spot, I highly, highly recommend it) might help out a lot... it's always good to be in a community of supportive people, so that game is a good place to start...
Overall, I hope everything I have said helps and I wish you nothing but the best of luck, and you aren't alone - this entire community has got your back; don't ever forget this ;w;