Hey there, everyone. I really hope you guys have been doing well, and staying as safe as possible in these trying times.

(TL;DR at the very bottom)

I think I should start with an apology. I'm so sorry for disappearing for so long, and I'm especially sorry for making so many people worry about my safety and well being. It was never my intention to upset or anger anyone, but I also know that there's no excuse that could ever truly justify my time away.

I'm sure some people already know this about me, but over the past few years, I've had a serious issue when it comes to dealing with stress. When I feel overwhelmed or overstressed, I have a bad habit of shutting down mentally and emotionally, and usually dropping off the face of the internet as a result. And, as time goes on while I'm shut down, I start to obsess and worry about what people will think of me, of you guys being angry, upset or frustrated with me, and I shut down some more.

It quickly becomes a self-perpetuating cycle of fear and regret, until I eventually just go into autopilot mode where I don't have to think too much. And it always takes a huge amount of encouragement to finally break the cycle and come back.

That's not really an excuse, just an explanation of what I've been fighting with over the past year or so. I understand that I should've notified people of my absence, and I know now that I shouldn't take on commissions until I'm in a mental state to complete them within a reasonable amount of time. I guess I got so caught up in the hype of returning to FA and taking commissions back in 2019 that I once again bit off more than I could chew. I definitely know better now.

And so, I'll be returning to FA, but in a slightly limited capacity. I have a bunch of obligations that I need to address:

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REFUNDS

Firstly, I will be giving refunds to everyone who commissioned me, plus $20 USD. I can't apologize enough for my lack of messaging regarding commission work, but I'll try to make up for it as best I can. Most commissions aren't done yet, but I'll be completing them soon. I just believe that it's better to address the financial obligation first, and giving you guys your money back is at the top of the list. So, I'll be messaging each of my commissioners to offer a personal apology, and get your most current Paypal information as well. I might not be able to refund every commission today, but I'll refund them over the next few weeks as I get the money. Thank you guys so much for your patience, and I'm sorry that I let you down.

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FUTURE ART AND COMMISSIONS

All future commissions will have to be canceled, because I'm not ready for new commissions.

To be honest, I can't help but feel like I've lost a certain spark when it comes to drawing. That something that made drawing fun and exciting, and kept me motivated to push through some of the biggest commissions I've ever done. Whatever that spark was, I want to focus on rekindling it after I've made up for my commissions, so I think I'll draw mostly personal art for a while. I apologize to anyone who were interested in a commission upon my return, but I need to get myself back in the right headspace for something like that. And freely drawing whatever pops into my head without obligation is the best way I can think of to achieve that.

I'll likely take some of that time to reinvest myself into animation and game design as well. There's a few projects that I want to get back to work on eventually.

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CONTACTS

Finally, the part that I dread the most. I really appreciate hearing from all of you, but I will have to put a few limits on my friend lists on some chat apps.

It has nothing to do with you guys at all. But, unfortunately, I'm not in the proper emotional or mental state to handle a ton of private messages or private conversations at the moment. I'm perfectly fine with public comments on my FA or Twitter, or in Discord groups when I'm online, but I want to properly balance my time between being active online and being able to shut my brain off and take it easy offline. As a result, I very likely won't be active everyday.

But, it's a necessity for me. I need to start taking steps to avoid burn out, and THEN, if I'm feeling up to it later, I can start expanding my friend circle and being more active again.

All I know is, I cannot simply jump right back into business as usual, like I mistakenly did before. I'm an old noodle, so I'm more like a train that needs to warm up for a while before I can start chugging along. XD

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So, that's all for now. I'll be messaging the commissioners shortly, and then I'll take it easy for tonight and stick my brain in it's rejuvenating gel container until next time. I'll also probably post some stuff tonight as well on here and Twitter, so that's something to look for as well. Thank you all so much for your support and patience, and I hope you stay safe and as healthy as possible given the circumstances.

Also, 2020 was a rough year for all of us. Let's hope this year brings something better.

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TL;DR: Sorry for disappearing, I'll start being active online on a limited basis. I'm giving full refunds plus a little extra, and I'll complete overdue commissions as well. All further commissions are closed until a time where I'm better prepared for them.