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Hey y'all, personal post time.

Recently I've been through A Lot. You probably know this if you follow me on Twitter or Mastodon, but I've had to deal with the loss of several family members in fairly quick succession. This has contributed to my depression being pretty bad recently, which chains into not getting any work done, which is in itself a pretty dangerous spiral. It's not that I've come to dread drawing, but I've come to dread the process of drawing for other people. Which sucks, because that's kinda my job. And when I think of doing something for myself, it loops back into time that I could've been spending being productive and earning money… You know how that goes, probably.

So, long story short, I've been feeling burnout pretty bad! I haven't been able to open commissions for several months, and it's been kind of terrifying as my money dwindles. Working through what's in my queue has boosted it a little bit, but as of now I don't have a single cent in the bank after rent. Once my patreon money comes in I'll be safe for a little, but that's really scary. And due to that, despite my sluggish output, it hasn't really been a break, and I haven't been able to really recover. If anything, I've just been feeling worse.

So after I finished crying during a meltdown a bit ago, I really thought about what's been tough about it for me. And when it comes down to it, I really think the biggest thing that kills my motivation is revisions. I hate them with a passion. I'm constantly going back and forth with commissioners over minor details that just need to be tweaked a little bit, but I can never quite get them right. It's gotten me so scared of coming back to stuff that I've put down, even if I haven't been told there's something wrong. Pairing that with clients who just can't get back to me until hours later, and I'm stuck wasting time only to be told I have to go back and do something over, and I end up putting it off until later still because I just don't want to deal with it.

So! Going forward, I'm probably going to charge extra for revisions, no matter how minor. I'm still trying to come up with how I want to handle it, because I still want to be fair to people whose characters I butcher in some way, but I just can't do it for free anymore. I'm tempted to stop doing it altogether, but I know I'm far from perfect, and that'd just cost me a lot of good will.

I don't think for a second that this is going to cure my burnout. But I'm hoping it'll help solve an efficiency problem I've been having, and that it'll help me worry a little less about money in turn.