New Petseri - The "main" character of the series. (There are actually no central characters). He is a masker because of the Mutumine tradition and transracials. He would go as his bronze skinned wetsuit clad Upside-Downer surfer persona, but most of the time as his African-American basketball-playing self.

Estonia - The "deuteragonist". She is a paranormal hacker with digital powers. She took control of Russia's body through headphones he ordered from the Internet, and caused him to become a techno-mutant as punishment for raping her in the past. When not in Russia's body, she is a loving mother. Russia is still controlled by Estonia to this day.

Malichka - The series' alleged tritagonist. A furry, he is prone to being horny but also accidentally a pervert. He is suspicious of his mother Slovenia, whom he thinks is really his friend Malaysia hiding in a costume.

Borneo - Another character. He is a friend of Malichka's and likes drawing inflation pics (He doesn't do child porn, not like Glubber or Nugget). He is weirded out by the fact that his parents are both maskers, so he finds solace in New Petseri who is a masker as well.

European Union - A royal personality, she likes riches, feasting and all things a fairytale king would have. She is prone to gluttony though and she is suffering from a bad case of diabetes.

Malaysia - A spy working for Belgium who is the intelligence agency of their neighbors, the fictional microstate of Neoslavia (which Serbia owns.)

Novi Beograd - Airsoft fan and the best soldier in Neoslavia's army.