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worthless
4 years ago
it's always darkest_____________________________________________________ when will i find someone that believes i am worth the effort?
time and time again, i end up with people that just...... dont care. they enjoy my company to an extent and they enjoy the physical aspects of the relationship or the perks of the friendship, but im always the one to text first. always the one to bring up plans. always the one that wants to see them or hang out. i put in all of the effort and get nothing back. i get walked over, and i just.... take it. because i know its hard for me to make friends or to meet new people.
and so it just keeps happening.
when will i find someone that actually puts in the effort, themselves? that takes the time to even text me, "hey, i don't really have the energy to talk or hang out right now, but im still here". thats all i want. thats all ive ever wanted.
nobody's wanted me in their lives since i turned 18, and it shows. the few people i had in my life all lost interest at the same time and stopped even pretending to care when it stopped being "exciting", even though the only thing that changed was my age.
why am i so worthless? why does nobody even try to fight for me? why cant i have any semblance of value in their lives?
why does nobody want me?
time and time again, i end up with people that just...... dont care. they enjoy my company to an extent and they enjoy the physical aspects of the relationship or the perks of the friendship, but im always the one to text first. always the one to bring up plans. always the one that wants to see them or hang out. i put in all of the effort and get nothing back. i get walked over, and i just.... take it. because i know its hard for me to make friends or to meet new people.
and so it just keeps happening.
when will i find someone that actually puts in the effort, themselves? that takes the time to even text me, "hey, i don't really have the energy to talk or hang out right now, but im still here". thats all i want. thats all ive ever wanted.
nobody's wanted me in their lives since i turned 18, and it shows. the few people i had in my life all lost interest at the same time and stopped even pretending to care when it stopped being "exciting", even though the only thing that changed was my age.
why am i so worthless? why does nobody even try to fight for me? why cant i have any semblance of value in their lives?
why does nobody want me?
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