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4 years ago
General
~~~~~~~~ Hi everyone!
I hope everyone's Easter was super fun and that you’re all doing okay through this lockdown. The UK seems to be relaxing a bit more but I know some of you are entering a third lockdown so i’m really hoping you’re all okay.
I thought i’d make a giant post about updates on commissions, why they’re so slow, my manga, streaming and some other stuff that’s happening.
TW// Gender Dysphoria and Operations
So the last few years i’ve been struggling a lot with my sexuality and gender identity. You guys all know i’m Bi and i’m super happy and proud that that’s in the open!
I feel like now I need to be brave and just come out with my gender identity (and the struggles i’ve had lately).
I’ve seen so many people the last few days who have been so inspirational and come out unapologetically about who they are and I really want to do that too! It’s just a little hard for me to actually do it cause I feel so vulnerable but please stick with me while I try to explain.
Most people that I talk to about how I feel say that i’m Gender Fluid though i’m not really good at figuring out labels. I’ve been in a limbo of denial or should I say, I just tried to ignore and push how I feel to the back of my mind but it’s gotten to the point I can’t focus on anything anymore without this being a huge problem (coupled with ADHD it’s been heeeeell). I don’t live in the most accepting environment when it comes to stuff like this, so i’ve been trying to figure this out on my own since I was a kid. It seeeems to be the best fit for me though.
It’s been super rough this last year especially. I’m experiencing dysphoria in ways that have surprised me and has led me to just being tired and frustrated ALL the time. Lockdown has forced me to actually think about how I feel instead of filling my days up with tasks so I can procrastinate from facing this. Emma can attest to how many late night rants I've had to her about these things. I guess what i’m trying to say is my mind is overwhelmed with trying to figure this out so I can just live and draw for you guys. As for pronouns? I don’t really mind what you call me to be honest. Girl, guy, they/them, call me a Goblin I don’t mind, haha.
I am so so so sorry for how long the commissions are taking to complete because of this. I’m disgusted with myself with how long it’s taking me to do them. I want to give you all the best I can offer and I'm so incredibly grateful for how supportive and patient you’ve all been. I’m taking a big step back from my manga (not going to even touch it but more on this later) and other freelance work so I can solely focus on your commissions. Again, I want to say thank you to everyone who has helped me out massively with them. I’ve saved up enough now where I can actually look at places to live!
I haven’t streamed in a while because, again, I’m struggling with dysphoria which includes my voice. When I go back to look for clips I cringe so bad and then I think, ‘Oh, I sound cringey, everyone else must think that too’. I know you guys don’t, it’s just me putting myself down which is something i’m trying to overcome. I love streaming for you guys and I deeply miss it. I’ll be back soon I promise! We need to play Hades together and finally finish Ori.
For my manga, I have no ETA for the first chapter. What I do have is a title and promo/front cover art I can show you guys in the next couple of days! I want to step back from this project so I can put you guys first and finish your commissions. I’m sorry I kept pushing the release date back, it’s just not ready yet and probably won’t be for some time.
My dad has also gone for his pre-op assessment today for his leg amputation. It’s coming up super super fast so i’ll be a little busy with looking after him. HOWEVER, I aim to get all your commissions done before then.
I have exciting news coming up though. YT has sponsored a giant raffle for you guys which will be up to enter once commissions have finished. It’s going to be really really fun!
The main thing with this post is I don’t want anyone to worry, and I feel really silly for letting these things hold me back even now. You guys are so supportive and I feel like I don’t deserve you all. I just feel like all i’ve been doing lately is promising and not delivering what I promise. I’ll do better, I swear.
Thanks again everyone and if you have any questions about anything pleeease DM me. They’re always open!
I hope everyone's Easter was super fun and that you’re all doing okay through this lockdown. The UK seems to be relaxing a bit more but I know some of you are entering a third lockdown so i’m really hoping you’re all okay.
I thought i’d make a giant post about updates on commissions, why they’re so slow, my manga, streaming and some other stuff that’s happening.
TW// Gender Dysphoria and Operations
So the last few years i’ve been struggling a lot with my sexuality and gender identity. You guys all know i’m Bi and i’m super happy and proud that that’s in the open!
I feel like now I need to be brave and just come out with my gender identity (and the struggles i’ve had lately).
I’ve seen so many people the last few days who have been so inspirational and come out unapologetically about who they are and I really want to do that too! It’s just a little hard for me to actually do it cause I feel so vulnerable but please stick with me while I try to explain.
Most people that I talk to about how I feel say that i’m Gender Fluid though i’m not really good at figuring out labels. I’ve been in a limbo of denial or should I say, I just tried to ignore and push how I feel to the back of my mind but it’s gotten to the point I can’t focus on anything anymore without this being a huge problem (coupled with ADHD it’s been heeeeell). I don’t live in the most accepting environment when it comes to stuff like this, so i’ve been trying to figure this out on my own since I was a kid. It seeeems to be the best fit for me though.
It’s been super rough this last year especially. I’m experiencing dysphoria in ways that have surprised me and has led me to just being tired and frustrated ALL the time. Lockdown has forced me to actually think about how I feel instead of filling my days up with tasks so I can procrastinate from facing this. Emma can attest to how many late night rants I've had to her about these things. I guess what i’m trying to say is my mind is overwhelmed with trying to figure this out so I can just live and draw for you guys. As for pronouns? I don’t really mind what you call me to be honest. Girl, guy, they/them, call me a Goblin I don’t mind, haha.
I am so so so sorry for how long the commissions are taking to complete because of this. I’m disgusted with myself with how long it’s taking me to do them. I want to give you all the best I can offer and I'm so incredibly grateful for how supportive and patient you’ve all been. I’m taking a big step back from my manga (not going to even touch it but more on this later) and other freelance work so I can solely focus on your commissions. Again, I want to say thank you to everyone who has helped me out massively with them. I’ve saved up enough now where I can actually look at places to live!
I haven’t streamed in a while because, again, I’m struggling with dysphoria which includes my voice. When I go back to look for clips I cringe so bad and then I think, ‘Oh, I sound cringey, everyone else must think that too’. I know you guys don’t, it’s just me putting myself down which is something i’m trying to overcome. I love streaming for you guys and I deeply miss it. I’ll be back soon I promise! We need to play Hades together and finally finish Ori.
For my manga, I have no ETA for the first chapter. What I do have is a title and promo/front cover art I can show you guys in the next couple of days! I want to step back from this project so I can put you guys first and finish your commissions. I’m sorry I kept pushing the release date back, it’s just not ready yet and probably won’t be for some time.
My dad has also gone for his pre-op assessment today for his leg amputation. It’s coming up super super fast so i’ll be a little busy with looking after him. HOWEVER, I aim to get all your commissions done before then.
I have exciting news coming up though. YT has sponsored a giant raffle for you guys which will be up to enter once commissions have finished. It’s going to be really really fun!
The main thing with this post is I don’t want anyone to worry, and I feel really silly for letting these things hold me back even now. You guys are so supportive and I feel like I don’t deserve you all. I just feel like all i’ve been doing lately is promising and not delivering what I promise. I’ll do better, I swear.
Thanks again everyone and if you have any questions about anything pleeease DM me. They’re always open!
On the note of cringing at the sound of your own voice, don’t worry literally anyone who records casually or for a living (I’m living with 1 friend who wants to be a sports commentator and the other currently does VA work.) doesn’t like/will cringe at their own voice even if they do it professionally.