Hey y'all,

just wanted to give you guys a head's up and reason for my latest brief hiatus, and to tell you I may need another quick break..

Our boxer we've had since he was a puppy recently had a severe stroke

The vet thinks he has some sort of cancer, recommended we go to a neurologist but we simply cannot afford the costs of aggressive testing at a specialist to find out for sure.

at the moment, he is still his usual happy self, only now he walks very gingerly, has to lay down a lot, wobbles to the left when he walks, and just looks more.. fragile?
While right now he is comfortable, happy and not in any pain, we don't know if or when his condition will deteriorate, or when the next stroke or seizure will happen or IF it even will. There are so many uncertainties it's scary. I've already begun to notice his decreased appetite lately and he is starting to look skinnier.

If he gets to the point where he's visibly miserable or is unable to eat or is in pain, we've accepted it would be selfish of us to keep him around if he's suffering and have decided if he gets that bad it would be best to put him down. While right now that's not on the table since he is rather stable, we simply don't know how much longer it will be until we have no other choice.

It just feels inevitable that our time with him is limited at this point as each day goes by...

Again, I don't know when it will come to that, but needless to say, right now it's incredibly hard to see my once energetic playful boy struggle to walk properly, to see his little brother Whiskey nudge him in vain to try and get him up to play like they used to, to see my little brother just sit there and hug him and not let go for minutes at a time as he tries to process things.


I tend to keep my emotions pretty much to myself, and I don't think this whole thing really set in fully until I began typing this journal. I'm actually crying over it for the first time while i'm typing right now. I've never lost a dog before, this is so much harder than I ever would have imagined and it technically hasn't even happened yet.

Tyson was the first puppy I raised, he's been all I had for many years throughout high school while my parents got divorced, and even though I no longer live with him I still constantly see him since he's with my mom and they live 5 mins away. To think that sometime extremely soon I'll go to visit my mom and I won't see his happy face at the door to greet me ever again, it's unbearable.


I think I may need to take a brief break, I just don't feel well mentally or emotionally. I just feel like I'm being crushed by this enormous weight I can't escape from right now, my heart hurts so much.
To those waiting on commissions, I'm so sorry, I'm not closing or forgetting you or anything like that, I will 100% get things done as soon as I can! I just can't really bring myself to draw right now

sorry if this whole thing sounds dramatic haha. like i said, I've never gone through losing a dog before. I grew up with Tyson, it feels like i'm losing one of my best friends, and so suddenly. He was so healthy three weeks ago, then all of a sudden he can't walk correctly anymore out of literally nowhere. I just don't know to process this i guess