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Telemarketers
4 years ago
Oh, I hit a new low in harassing telemarketers.
Press 1, "How may I help you?"
"I'd tell you to go fuck yourself, but based on the job you have, you already did."
Bunners
Press 1, "How may I help you?"
"I'd tell you to go fuck yourself, but based on the job you have, you already did."
Bunners
Bunners
"It's a 1986 Trabant P601."
"Sir—"
"It's a crappy two-stroke Communist shitbox from a country that NO LONGER EXISTS!"
*click*
And the second one:
"Amos's Authentic Amish Furnishings, what do you need?"
"We are calling about the extended warranty on your vehicle."
"There's a warranty on my horse!?"
*click*
We get calls regularly for duct cleaning services. I responded to one with: "Bro, I am a thirty year old Millennial living in the Greater Toronto Area. In what possible universe do you think I can afford to own a house!?"
Tom Mabe is, of course, the master:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7OgWcwgB50
Bunners
I told them to tell whoever was in charge I don’t own a car - I ride a bicycle...
V.
Something about playing 'Zippy the Love Monkey' with close relatives.
If the caller ID isn't someone I know, and they won't leave a message, it's not important.
Me: "Hello?"
Telemarketer: "May I speak to the man or lady of the house?"
Me: "I'm sorry but the number you've received is a non-working number. Please check the number and try again." (Spoken over the recording telling me how they can help me with something I don't feel a need to receive help for.)