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What is wrong with me? (Vent)
4 years ago
Just another journal of me whining, feel free to skip.
I have been making progress on pictures (babyfur kind, of course), but it cannot hide the feeling that I have utterly done nothing with my life since graduating. I aspired to become an author and create a series of books that could hopefully be adapted into animation or video games. However, you are most likely aware by now that my interest in the second book has drained to almost nothing and progress is virtually non-existent.
I’m not saying I’m not enjoying myself. I have had fun playing games and thinking up new picture ideas, as well as occasionally working on my video game documents. However, I feel that these are too trivial and I need to focus on the skills I need for my future. I want to be remembered for my works when I die, and so far, I barely have anything to show. I don’t even have any skills for useful jobs either, as I can’t seem to find the spirit to take any courses or such.
I feel as if my time is running out for me to do something to help my future. I remember watching this old 50s educational film called “The Benefits of Looking Ahead” where it implied if this young man didn’t plan out what he wanted in his future, he’d become a bum.
Honestly, I’m still not sure what I want to be like in the future. I said a writer, but what kind? Would I become a local celebrity and sign some autographs and aid developers who are making adaptations of my books? Would I be a reclusive writer who only interacts with other people online? Should I focus more on something else, like art, or Let’s plays?
I’ve also wondered if I should try and make some friends IRL to hang out with. I never had a group of friends to hang out with and go have fun during the day as a kid. It’s something I’ve considered, but a lot of times, I’m content with just being by myself. Besides, the only people I feel I could have fun with IRL are fellow babyfurs and such (incognito in public of course) and who knows if there are any near me.
I’m sorry for boring you all with the complaints, I just want to feel satisfied with something I can do that will actually make me someone in the future instead of some useless manchild who just sits on his computer all day.
I have been making progress on pictures (babyfur kind, of course), but it cannot hide the feeling that I have utterly done nothing with my life since graduating. I aspired to become an author and create a series of books that could hopefully be adapted into animation or video games. However, you are most likely aware by now that my interest in the second book has drained to almost nothing and progress is virtually non-existent.
I’m not saying I’m not enjoying myself. I have had fun playing games and thinking up new picture ideas, as well as occasionally working on my video game documents. However, I feel that these are too trivial and I need to focus on the skills I need for my future. I want to be remembered for my works when I die, and so far, I barely have anything to show. I don’t even have any skills for useful jobs either, as I can’t seem to find the spirit to take any courses or such.
I feel as if my time is running out for me to do something to help my future. I remember watching this old 50s educational film called “The Benefits of Looking Ahead” where it implied if this young man didn’t plan out what he wanted in his future, he’d become a bum.
Honestly, I’m still not sure what I want to be like in the future. I said a writer, but what kind? Would I become a local celebrity and sign some autographs and aid developers who are making adaptations of my books? Would I be a reclusive writer who only interacts with other people online? Should I focus more on something else, like art, or Let’s plays?
I’ve also wondered if I should try and make some friends IRL to hang out with. I never had a group of friends to hang out with and go have fun during the day as a kid. It’s something I’ve considered, but a lot of times, I’m content with just being by myself. Besides, the only people I feel I could have fun with IRL are fellow babyfurs and such (incognito in public of course) and who knows if there are any near me.
I’m sorry for boring you all with the complaints, I just want to feel satisfied with something I can do that will actually make me someone in the future instead of some useless manchild who just sits on his computer all day.
If you're thinking of college courses or anything like that, most places have people that can help determine a field you could function in. I would suggest heading down to a local community college and seeing if they can help you out with a path forward.
Meanwhile, you can still keep on doing the other stuff you're doing. If your interest in writing rekindles, you can pick that up again. You can also keep releasing that art of yours, improving ever so slightly day by day.
It's useless to say "don't get disheartened," so I'll avoid advising you there. There will be times like this one likely ahead of you. I'm certainly still going through them even though in ways my life has picked up a bit. The key is to not hate yourself for failure or indecision. It's pushing through that and getting back on track. You really do have your whole life to figure that out.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NgXC6CcojHs
You’re doing fine, you’ll find your niche in this world, just don’t forget to enjoy each and every day.
Everyone loves all that you’ve done and we’re all here for you. If you ever need someone to listen to you, we’ve got the time.