[CW: Accusations of pedophilia, boy that's a way to start one of these]

Alright, I admit I try not let others dictate what fun I have. Especially my folks. It's not that I dislike them or distrust their opinions on the world view, nor should I care because I am [b]32 fucking years old[/b], but there is somethings that still get to me whether or not I want them to, and I feel I have to share said opinion to get it off my chest.

I recently got back into skateboarding and even bought myself a new skateboard deck with a cool design to thrash. I searched on google and found a couple of skate parks nearby. Even when unable to go, we have a small parking lot that I can practice in close to my house. Point is, I have a lot of opportunities to practice.

The thing that gets on my nerves is that when I tell my folks about my intentions of going to a skate park, their first response is "Be careful". Not out of getting hurt, something common with skateboarding, but more dealing with other adults who bring their kids. They're worried I might be seen as someone who is "not suppose to be there", "being there for ill intentions". Cutting to the chase, they're worried I might be identified as a pedophile instead of a skateboarder.

I cannot tell you how much this fucking hurts to hear. I know there is no "real" look behind predators, criminals and the like, but the first thing is I think of is how I look. Second, there is the undeniable fact that aside from being sociable, I will probably have to talk to some stranger, regardless of age. Especially with kids who don't understand the flow of the skatepark and sometimes sit on obstacles or go out of "turn", and combined with my own social anxieties, this plays right into those anxieties and makes me even more paranoid having to watch what I do off the board as well as on the damn thing.

I could try and write this off if it was only one person doing it, but the fact that almost every member of my family shares this fear, extended included and seemingly independent of each other, is putting some serious fucking doubt on me wanting to continue this hobby. This has been going on for a few weeks, but reached a boiling point yesterday when my sister brought it up.

Straight up, there is no defending pedophiles. Kids are innocent and shouldn't be exposed to anything adult until they're "ready", which should be late teens/early twenties in my opinion. This is something that we in our fandom deal with (even if its a different side) having to protect ourselves from kids/the underaged from viewing adult content, especially if you are a producer or sharer of said content.

I am pretty sure this is just my folks being paranoid about the world and them wanting to watch out for me, but it really hits the complete opposite way that (I hope) they intended. It could be because they see skateboarding and skating in general as a young teen kinda sport where it's really open to all ages (Tony Hawk is in his 50s and other skaters like Aaron Kyro invite people of all ages to start skating). Regardless, it just makes me feel

Big thanks to a few friends of mine for letting me bounce this journal off of them before posting and cooling down some. Although I don't think I will quit skating or drawing because of what others tell me, being accused or even hinted at something so disgusting kinda has thrown off my mood a bit, and I wanted to share to either prove my fears are unjustified or to at least get a different view point of the thing.

Sorry if this journal made anyone uncomfortable. I know talking about it != actively engaging, but even discussing about kids in a sexualized manner is (to me) gross and uncomfortable.