I feel like trash. I honestly don't know what to do anymore, plus the fact that it's fathers day just reminds me of somebody I never met. Anyway, I wish I could be friends with people but all some of them do is throw me under the bus. There's this one person I used to talk to but it's been a downward spiral and I was scared to talk to him because it seemed like they would just get mad talking to me every time and I felt there was nothing I could say or do to make him happy. Plus the accusations being thrown against me in 2016 didn't help at all. All that over some stupid drama. That person was incredibly mean and somehow was friends with all my friends, so since they knew her longer they believed her because I was relatively new. I spent the past few days laying in bed sleeping and/or crying, and me scrolling through Twitter just makes me depressed as all hell because all I see are people being happy without me.

I wish I wasn't such a burden on everyone's life and that I could just have fun, but those people really messed me up and I fear for the sake of my mental health. I was trying to be happy. In fact, I was happy I had friends and everything, and several people threw me under the bus like I was a monster, one of which even knew another person who clearly did the same thing I did and did nothing to them. Why do I have to have such a terrible reputation all for nothing, with people saying I'm the one who messed up? I tend to act weird around others and now I'm scared of talking to people. I wish I could change things and go back and fix how I allegedly messed up, but nobody tells me anything. I wish there was something I could do to tell people that I did nothing wrong, and they need to stop attacking me. But, nobody believes me. If there was anything I could do, I would do it in a heartbeat.