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No way to find happiness
4 years ago
There's just no feasible way I can have a woman in my life... Not with my parents in the way... Well I mean, it's not exactly that they're against me having a woman or being happy in general, it's more like...how do I put this...
The kind of woman that I would like to have would not be the kind of woman who could be happy living together with me and my parents... At the same time, even if I could move out (and honestly, my mom understands that there's a very real possibility of us moving away from them), I still wouldn't be happy anyway...because, well...I still love my mother...I want to take care of her as she grows older and older... I feel bad for her... She's sick...diabetic...
For it to be realistic to live with a wife and my parents in the same house, it'd have to be a woman who's approved by my mom...and the kind of woman that'd be kosher with my mom...is just not the kind of woman *I* would want. Either she'd be too religious or too prudish or too old-fashioned...
And honestly, there's still the problem of me just wanting a woman for love and sex, but not marriage and family. And I just don't see that happening. 9 out of 10 women it seems want to have kids; not wanting kids is a deal-breaker.
And even if I do find a woman who's okay with not having kids or doesn't want them, how would I actually land a relationship with her? Either they're already taken or they're not attractive or heck, even if she's neither of those two, I'm too shy to approach women in general. And I'd rather not have to rely on prostitution thank you very much, what with it being illegal with a possibility of disease to say nothing of it carrying a certain stigma to it.
I just don't see any way of acheiving happiness through women... I know I should be able to find happiness without women, but godammit, it's just so...painful seeing pretty women either in RL or in art and have that yearning lustful desire...
Life is too painful...
The kind of woman that I would like to have would not be the kind of woman who could be happy living together with me and my parents... At the same time, even if I could move out (and honestly, my mom understands that there's a very real possibility of us moving away from them), I still wouldn't be happy anyway...because, well...I still love my mother...I want to take care of her as she grows older and older... I feel bad for her... She's sick...diabetic...
For it to be realistic to live with a wife and my parents in the same house, it'd have to be a woman who's approved by my mom...and the kind of woman that'd be kosher with my mom...is just not the kind of woman *I* would want. Either she'd be too religious or too prudish or too old-fashioned...
And honestly, there's still the problem of me just wanting a woman for love and sex, but not marriage and family. And I just don't see that happening. 9 out of 10 women it seems want to have kids; not wanting kids is a deal-breaker.
And even if I do find a woman who's okay with not having kids or doesn't want them, how would I actually land a relationship with her? Either they're already taken or they're not attractive or heck, even if she's neither of those two, I'm too shy to approach women in general. And I'd rather not have to rely on prostitution thank you very much, what with it being illegal with a possibility of disease to say nothing of it carrying a certain stigma to it.
I just don't see any way of acheiving happiness through women... I know I should be able to find happiness without women, but godammit, it's just so...painful seeing pretty women either in RL or in art and have that yearning lustful desire...
Life is too painful...
1. You can always be there for your mom but you gotta let you lady know that in the start. So you might wanna find a local gal. But family is really important and any good woman would respect that.
2. One thing I learned is there is women if you're yourself. Just be the sweet,caring, funny guy you are and they'll come running. Maybe don't focus so much on the outer beauty and look for the inner beauty too. That doesn't mean you gotta find a gal that's bone ugly either. I know how much rejection sucks and I understand why you'd be shy, but you're a good guy!
3. The best thing you can do is find happiness by yourself. No one else in this world is gonna make you happy so you gotta yourself. Get yourself out there and do something you love and when miss right comes along you can share that happiness with her!
You Got this, man! I'm rooting for ya!
I think that's what I need to figure out: spending time away from home that isn't just my job. I do shop sometimes, but just groceries. Not sure if that counts. It would have to be some kind of activity...
Another problem I have is that I'm painfully shy. I find it very hard to just strike a conversation with a stranger. Hell, I'm too shy to even talk with my co-workers at work...
One of my other friends online says I should "find a new hobby or interest. reinvent yourself and go back to rediscover the things you used to enjoy. either that or you need to find the curage to break out of your shell and change your life habbits." That's what he says and well, it makes sense, but I still have to figure out how to make it work...
Thanks for the encouragement, by the way. It also has the added effect of obligating me to not fail your faith in me.
Approach women as friends, not as a future mate. Become friends with one, and you'll meet her friends, and then suddenly find you're hanging out more with one. You'll have better chances of a friendship turning into a relationship than going on a hunt for a girlfriend. Whether you have kids or not will happen naturally.
Maybe I just need more time management skills? I dunno. I also need more energy. But how to muster it...