FA+
Shop
I struggle weekly with suicidal thoughts
4 years ago
General
Hey,
That title is a bit of a downer, no? Well, it is true, but also, I used to suffer from these thoughts hourly, or at least daily, and have survived no less than three suicide attempts over the last 10 years, at least that I can remember clearly. In other words, things are actually a lot better than they were, overall. This is primarily due to finding the right mix of medications that worked for me, which took rather a look time, but I got there in the end. It is also why I went very quiet on here for a long time, and why I dropped out of contact with a lot of people.
I just wanted to make this journal for people who struggle with depression (severe or mild) and let you know that things can and do get better, even when it feels like there is no hope. I know that it can be difficult in some countries, but it is very important to access the help of mental health professionals, as this is usually the start of a journey to recovery. Depression is a difficult thing to deal with, and it is even hard to deal with it alone, so try to get that help if you can.
There are certain unhelpful things that people can say to you when you feel depressed, so I'm going to try to respond to some of them:
-Them: life is hard, you just have to deal with it.
-Me: there are parts of life that can be hard, but life overall does not have to be hard. Don't let other people's experiences dictate how you should perceive life.
-Them: just do some exercise and eat healthily, and you'll feel better.
-Me: whilst exercise and healthy eating can help, it is not sufficient treatment for Major Depressive Disorders (MDD). Please see qualified mental health professionals, if you can.
-Them: you just need to think positively.
-Me: Depression is a recognised clinical disorder, and there is zero evidence that 'positive thinking' alone can cure your depression. Don't feel bad if you are unable to do this, you are not alone.
There are many others, too many for a journal, but just remember that not everyone is educated on this topic, and even if they are trying to be helpful, sometimes it does not help, but that's okay. There are people out there who can help :)
That title is a bit of a downer, no? Well, it is true, but also, I used to suffer from these thoughts hourly, or at least daily, and have survived no less than three suicide attempts over the last 10 years, at least that I can remember clearly. In other words, things are actually a lot better than they were, overall. This is primarily due to finding the right mix of medications that worked for me, which took rather a look time, but I got there in the end. It is also why I went very quiet on here for a long time, and why I dropped out of contact with a lot of people.
I just wanted to make this journal for people who struggle with depression (severe or mild) and let you know that things can and do get better, even when it feels like there is no hope. I know that it can be difficult in some countries, but it is very important to access the help of mental health professionals, as this is usually the start of a journey to recovery. Depression is a difficult thing to deal with, and it is even hard to deal with it alone, so try to get that help if you can.
There are certain unhelpful things that people can say to you when you feel depressed, so I'm going to try to respond to some of them:
-Them: life is hard, you just have to deal with it.
-Me: there are parts of life that can be hard, but life overall does not have to be hard. Don't let other people's experiences dictate how you should perceive life.
-Them: just do some exercise and eat healthily, and you'll feel better.
-Me: whilst exercise and healthy eating can help, it is not sufficient treatment for Major Depressive Disorders (MDD). Please see qualified mental health professionals, if you can.
-Them: you just need to think positively.
-Me: Depression is a recognised clinical disorder, and there is zero evidence that 'positive thinking' alone can cure your depression. Don't feel bad if you are unable to do this, you are not alone.
There are many others, too many for a journal, but just remember that not everyone is educated on this topic, and even if they are trying to be helpful, sometimes it does not help, but that's okay. There are people out there who can help :)
I think it’s really admirable though that you’re using your experience with this illness to help others with it, I don’t always understand how to talk to people with depression so advice like this does help and I hope it reaches people who need to hear it
Regardless of the outcome, everyone is better for having been a part of something YOU did.
I may not know you personally, but as someone sharing this green earth with you, I am happy to be here with you.
I've lost a lot of friends and associates along the way who didn't understand. I'm sorry to hear that you have been dealing with these feelings for so long. For what it's worth, you are bright and creative and I'm glad that you're with us and share your gifts with us.
Sometimes I like to sit down and meditate on what is happening around me. I try to listen to my body. I think of my home, and what small things I can do to make it better. I try to think of what hobbies I enjoy doing, and set aside time to do something UNproductive, because being productive 24/7 isn't worth it.
It makes me realize that even while poor, I still have many things that make me happy. I haven't had a great past, but I'm working hard to change the future. Life will have its ups and downs, but there are good people out there.
I've struggled with depression for a long time as well. Meditation certainly helps me. :)
(Gives you a warm hug)