I always think I'm never good enough and that there's no future for me. I'm so tired, depressed, and lonely. I feel like no one is really my friend and they're just being passively nice to me. No one ever checks up on me or responds to my messages. Am I not important to anyone? Am I just everyone's second thought? I don't know how to get better. I don't really know what's even wrong with me. Every time I make a "friend" they just disappear out of my life after a while. I don't think I'm going to be able to excel at anything. I'm not good at anything. I'm sloppy, forgetful, and I have no patience or self discipline. Being autistic, raised by a two-faced narcissist and a hypocritical man-child, and having no stability in my childhood I was doomed from the start. I'm just... tired... of existing... I wish I was never even born.