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None of my watchers are my peers but that's okay.
4 years ago
General
Nobody asked for a life update but it's time for another one.
I got a new tablet and it's wonderful, but my motivation to draw has tanked. I don't know what to do and I hate drawing for myself. It never feels as good as drawing from suggestions or drawing for my friends.
In other news, my cat passed away under a week ago and things have been... Pretty dreary lately.
My husband's physical condition has gotten worse as well and I've gone from quietly worried about him to feeling actively depressed for every day we don't seek medical attention that we can't afford.
I feel like the solid ground I was standing on is starting to crumble beneath me. I've been brushing shoulders with suicide ideation and I don't know what to do.
At least this journal feels like enough of an island that I can scream as loud as I want and not have to worry about anyone calling back with performative concern for a stranger's wellbeing.
I got a new tablet and it's wonderful, but my motivation to draw has tanked. I don't know what to do and I hate drawing for myself. It never feels as good as drawing from suggestions or drawing for my friends.
In other news, my cat passed away under a week ago and things have been... Pretty dreary lately.
My husband's physical condition has gotten worse as well and I've gone from quietly worried about him to feeling actively depressed for every day we don't seek medical attention that we can't afford.
I feel like the solid ground I was standing on is starting to crumble beneath me. I've been brushing shoulders with suicide ideation and I don't know what to do.
At least this journal feels like enough of an island that I can scream as loud as I want and not have to worry about anyone calling back with performative concern for a stranger's wellbeing.
It's not curing my husband of his illnesses but it'll make me more able-bodied to help him out so I consider that a plus. Thank you for saying such nice things to me so often... It really does mean a lot, even if I don't say much back very quickly.