FA+
Shop
A long road ahead
4 years ago
Sorry haven't been on FA for quite some time. Between streaming and trying to get a career job, my time has not been quite free. Also, haven't been emotionally well and stable. After getting cut off from some people I trusted and admired so much, it has been a struggle getting back up.
While I've been more stable recently, I still regret my actions. As much as I have tried to apologize, being blocked off and banned by them doesn't really help me out. Best I could was to send them a proper apology into the means I used to chat with them. So far, no answer. That silence is also what hurts. Sometimes, I can;t help being put down by images of them, putting me down for my mistakes. I can say that I have grown terrified of them now. Best I can do now, is try to get my life back together.
From the bottom of my heart, I still hope my message reaches them. At the same time, I'm losing all hope for a peaceful resolution. I know behavioral issues take time to address them. Life can also get in the way.
On another more brighter note, I have been able to get at least a small part time job. While its not the best thing I could come up, it was the best thing to get me back into a working routine. The main downside is the unpredictable days that I have to work. Can't have set days yet, so it has been affecting my streams and sleep schedule as well. With that, also my interactions with others. I can only hope that I can find a career job soon.
I may have also given a though of opening for commissions, but still would need to spend time making a proper card, with the prices, rules and contacts. Considering I'm not a dedicated artist, may need to start low, especially since I don;t know how to do certain styles.
I hope everyone is also able to find some good light in the middle of these trying times. I'm also doing my best to try to improve myself and not to let my mistakes and bad sides be the only things that define me. I know that I care a lot about others. It may be my downside, since I tend to forget some self-care. But this is the only "me" I can be.
While I've been more stable recently, I still regret my actions. As much as I have tried to apologize, being blocked off and banned by them doesn't really help me out. Best I could was to send them a proper apology into the means I used to chat with them. So far, no answer. That silence is also what hurts. Sometimes, I can;t help being put down by images of them, putting me down for my mistakes. I can say that I have grown terrified of them now. Best I can do now, is try to get my life back together.
From the bottom of my heart, I still hope my message reaches them. At the same time, I'm losing all hope for a peaceful resolution. I know behavioral issues take time to address them. Life can also get in the way.
On another more brighter note, I have been able to get at least a small part time job. While its not the best thing I could come up, it was the best thing to get me back into a working routine. The main downside is the unpredictable days that I have to work. Can't have set days yet, so it has been affecting my streams and sleep schedule as well. With that, also my interactions with others. I can only hope that I can find a career job soon.
I may have also given a though of opening for commissions, but still would need to spend time making a proper card, with the prices, rules and contacts. Considering I'm not a dedicated artist, may need to start low, especially since I don;t know how to do certain styles.
I hope everyone is also able to find some good light in the middle of these trying times. I'm also doing my best to try to improve myself and not to let my mistakes and bad sides be the only things that define me. I know that I care a lot about others. It may be my downside, since I tend to forget some self-care. But this is the only "me" I can be.
